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I’m not sure if Mercury was in retrograde in the shadow of
Jupiter’s moon Europa or if we just had the extreme misfortune to have a neon
flashing sign above our house that screamed, “Germs and Viruses Welcome Here!”,
but February was not our best month. In fact, I’m pretty sure that our
household was solely responsible for any stock price surges that may have
occurred from the companies who manufacture Lysol spray and Clorox wipes.
Not that either of them helped diffuse the situation AT ALL.
Having endured 40 New York winters mean that I’m pretty much
used to the colds and illnesses that like to hang out with the frigid months,
like friggin’ stalkers that just won’t go home. Add to that the youngest child’s
predilection for being sick from November straight through to March due to his
weak preemie lungs, and it’s just another day of mayhem in our crazy household.
I think the bacteria and germs were starting to take offense
at how blasé we were at their appearance so they decided to up the ante.
It started with a cold that my daughter seemed to turn into
a sinus infection. (Like pulling a rabbit out of a hat!) She very nicely shared
the germs with my husband and me, effectively making 3/5 of our house a walking
cold medicine commercial. Not to be left out, the 12 year old jumped in to join
the fun, making it a full 80% of our domicile infected by this seemingly
innocuous little pain in the ass cold.
Meanwhile, the youngest, who had his normal on and off cough
since winter got started, is now the healthiest person in our house.
Unfortunately, he has a little bit of mom’s (occasional) overachiever gene and
decided that not only was he going to get this cold, he was going to get rid of
it and then host it again for a second
time!
Bu wait! If you act now, we’ll throw in pneumonia AND Flu A
for the low, low price of a shockingly high fever and one panicked school
nurse! That’s right, we’ll throw it in for FREE!* (*Additional charges in the
form of co-payments may apply.)
By this time, I think it had also worked its way around to a
second run at me and my husband. Our house could have doubled for a pharmacy at
one point with antibiotics, nebulizer meds, multiple cold remedies, cough
syrups, cough drops, throat lozenges, tissues, and multiple forms of Vitamin C.
What is generally the shortest month of the year turned into some sort of
hunger games type survival of the fittest challenge. Quite frankly, we all
failed. Hard. Those germs kicked our ass and made us their bitch.
Having crawled our way to the finish line of February, we
are looking forward to March having some fresher air and a less, uh, germy
personality. Sorry February, but you didn’t win any popularity contests this
year. Better luck in 2021.
Need
even more mayhem? Find me on FaceBook (Modern Mom Mayhem) or on the Insta’
(modernmommayhem).
