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Anyone else all about that screenshot life? I swear, I don’t even know how I used to function without this handy little trick. It was like living in the dark ages and then a light shone down on the little square device in my hand. A voice gently whispered, “Take a screen shot dumbass, you know you’re going to forget otherwise.”
The
thing is, that little voice is right. I AM going to forget it. Give me four and
a half seconds and I’m liable to forget my name, staring at the phone in my
hand like a caveman that just discovered fire. “Ooh, pretty colors.” I used to
think it was age that was starting to creep up on me and then I realized that
it’s just storage issues. No one is clearing the cookies from my brain browser
to free up space. No one is doing a disk defrag (wow, dating myself a little
there, huh?) on my brain’s hard drive. Without antivirus software, I don’t even
know if there’s some malware floating around up there. (It would explain why I
have a BTS song stuck on repeat in my head when I don’t even listen to pop
music.) So, a screenshot reminds me of that weird article I saw online that I
wanted to tell my husband about. Or the online shopping that I was doing while
laying in bed, sans checkbook. (It would be a little creepy to sleep with a
pencil and my checkbook under my pillow, right? Right right, I knew that. I was
just checking if YOU knew that. Good job!) It’ll even help me remember that song that I liked when I have
time to have a coherent thought. Basically, my phone is my brain's portable hard drive.
Even
though I’ve always been into new tech, especially fun gadgets, I can see that I
rely on my phone a lot more than I used to. Maybe if they didn’t make it so
conveniently contain my email, calendar, camera, music, banking, alarm clock,
exercise tracker, and shopping all in one place, I might be able to resist that
temptation. But smartphones have become the shopping malls of technology. Why
use multiple gizmos when you can do one stop shopping with your smartphone? I
have lists of books that I want to read, Christmas gift ideas for the family, a
to-do list, and even ideas for the blog. Sadly, a lot of these don't make the transition to the phone because they are lost as
“driving thoughts”. What are those you ask? Driving thoughts are what you think
of while driving yet manage to automatically forget as soon as you step out of
the car. Some of my best ideas were probably driving thoughts but now they are
lost to the great void. It’s like the car sucks all the thoughts back up, not
allowing them to escape their sacred space. I need a Knight Rider car (For you youngsters, think Lightning McQueen) that I
could talk to and have them take dictation. “Kit, write this down: A desk chair
with one of those old school desk type trays that you can fold over to write on
attached on it, like a rolling school desk. Also, please check if that already
exists.”
I joke
about that, but I don’t think that we are that far off from our own real-life
version of Knight Rider cars. I saw that they now have some cars with Alexa in them. I
don’t know quite how those work, but I do know that if I ever get my hands on
one of those cars, I’d be tickled pink. That would be the cat’s pajamas. The
bee’s knees even. Well, gee, that would be super swell. But seriously, do you
even know how much easier THAT would make my life? Especially if I could get
car Alexa to speak to house Alexa AND somehow get all of them to be bff’s with
Siri. It would be like living my best tech life. The next time that I would
have one of those fantastic driving ideas I could tell Alexa to do…uh, well,
something techy and awesome that would remind me to follow through with said
life changing idea that I came up with. (I wonder if Alexa actually drives the car too….hmmm.)
If life
was REALLY awesome, I’d get a droid Alexa who would talk to car Alexa, house Alexa,
AND they would all be besties with Siri. Then I would really be in control of
my life. Well, they would. I’d live my own life vicariously through me....through them through me? Wait, this is getting a little confusing. Well, I guess until Alexa comes
in a Jetson’s (OMG, ANOTHER reference that shows how ancient I am?) sized robot
maid that will clean, cook, and keep my hectic schedule in line for me, I guess
I’ll just have to do it myself. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to get fired
though. I haven’t had great attention to detail and I’m pretty sure
that I’ve been caught playing games on my phone.
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(modernmommayhem)
Or find me on the Instagram thingamajig
(@modernmommayhem)
Want to send me a personal
note, a comment, or give me a terribly good joke to add to my collection? (A witch
doctor, an elephant, and a clown walk into a bar…) Send a message to
modernmommayhem@gmail.com
