We’re Going to a Pity Party, So Put on Your Boo Hoo Shoes

         Have you ever showed up to a pity party empty handed? Awkwardly standing there like, “Whoops, I don’t have any empathy, commiseration, or sympathy, but how about this half-chewed piece of righteous indignation? Will that work?”

        And sadly, it does. Because America’s toxic trait is that we allow ourselves to accept whatever emotional scraps we are given, and we are taught to do so gratefully. This is why we grow up to be half functioning adults with unhealthy familial and romantic relationships.

        You’d think that knowing your Achilles heel would help you overcome it, but if that’s the case, it hasn’t quite made it to my cranium yet. I know that my toxic trait is putting myself out there in relationships, far many times after the rejections and denials should have warned me off, but somehow, I keep repeating the behavior. It’s almost like whoever came up with the old adage “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” might have actually spoken from experience or something. Imagine that. Or maybe we are all just one big Pavlonian experiment and some scientist is writing down the results of our conditioned responses. Probably some alien type dude who’s studying us like interesting insects thus making all those “abducted and probed” stories seem realllyyy uncomfortable right about now.

        Uh, no thanks, I have hit my quota of conspiracy theories right now, but maybe next decade, mm kay?

        I’m not completely hopeless though. I HAVE learned a thing or two as I’ve gotten older. With age comes backpain…oh and wisdom too. (Hopefully more wisdom than back pain, but life isn’t always fair so quit yer belly achin’.) It only takes half as many attempts on my part before I realize that this is a waste of time and energy. It used to take much longer. Yeah, I’m pretty smart now donch’ya know? (I’m really hoping that you read that with the Canadian accent that it was written with.)

        We can only hope that we continue to learn from our mistakes and grow as human beings. And if that doesn’t work…. this is why God created alcohol. Sure, it might not solve all your problems, but it sure makes karaoke more interesting and how is that not a win-win in anyone’s book? And if alcohol (or God) aren’t your thing and you still need proof that life isn’t all that bad, I give you exhibit B: cake. Cake is willing to solve all the same problems as alcohol, but sadly she lacks that whole “lost inhibition” thing that makes karaoke so much extra.

        I feel like we’ve gotten a little off track here. (I blame the cake. It ALWAYS gets me off track.)

        So back to our sad, emotionally stunted existence. Gosh, that sounds WAY worse than I thought. Let’s try that again.

        So back to our Twisted Sister “We’re Not Going to Take it” kick ass mentality. Just because we have been taught to accept the emotional crumbs left to us, it doesn’t mean we can’t ask for an entire piece of the emotional pie. We deserve it! We are (mostly) kind, hardworking, loyal and only cuss a little. (Unless you cuss a lot, then ignore that part.) Don’t we think it’s about time that we stop giving all of ourselves to people who can’t, or won’t, invest the same time and effort into us? Don’t our kids deserve to see us break that cycle of unhealthy emotional codependence where we justify the bad actions of those who are supposed to be our support system? Don’t we ALL deserve to stand on this soap box and have ourselves a 5 minute melt down rant like healthy red blooded humans with actual thoughts and feelings of our own? If you answered yes to any of these questions, sit back down and mind your own damn business.

        Ha. Kidding.

        Really though, we need to stop going to all these pity parties empty handed. If you can’t bring a good case of compassion, at least bring a case of beer. Or maybe a few bottles of Rose. Whatever you do, just don’t forget the karaoke machine.

 

    ꭉꭉ I’mmmmmmm evverrrrryyyyyyy wooooomaaaaannnnnnnn. <hiccup> It’s all in meeeeeeeeee. ꭉꭉ

               

 

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