Un-spirited Week

             At the risk of sounding like an 86 year old woman reminiscing about the good ol’ days…. Back in my day, spirit week was reserved for only high school. It was a single week in the fall, usually culminating with the homecoming football game. Apparently, someone with a total of 12 brain cells, made a decision to extend the spirit week to all the schools.

 All. The. Schools.

This is mind boggling to me. Are you telling me that the young kids don’t have any school spirit and need to foster that camaraderie now? I’m thinking that you must never have met a child. Like ever. I don’t know anybody or anything that has more energy, attitude, and character than a kid. Let’s not try to foster any more of that spirit, mmkay? In fact, why don’t we have an opposite spirit week for elementary schools? Give those poor teachers a week of calm and quiet. I know that my 9-year-old exhausts me exactly 4.6 minutes into our day. I can’t even imagine having to multiply that by 22 kids. (Not that I think they’d actually accomplish it, given their subjects, but it was worth a shot, right?)

Now middle schools are another animal altogether. This is the age where the hormones and chemicals start brewing in their bodies. Moody is a sub-culture there. They most definitely need some spirt in their week. It’s probably the HOLY spirit that they need, but spirit is spirit, right? They channel and hone that spiritedness until it matures into enough teenage angst to get them through high school, so grades 9-12 definitely require spirit. Probably the alcoholic spirits that they’re too young for, but they need spirit nonetheless. (Not that any of us parents *ever* had alcohol before it was lawful. Nope we dutifully waited until legal age before partaking in those types of beverages. Promise.)

And before you accuse me of being the grinch of spirit week, I want you to know that I have no problem with the concept. None at all. I think it’s a fun exercise to build morale and involve the kids. No, my problem is that the people who decide the themes. I don’t know if they are using it as some form of parental punishment or if they are just partaking in some intensely strong  edibles that made these seem like good ideas.

Here are some good, easy examples of themes for spirit week: School colors. Pajamas. Sports shirts/jerseys. Tie dye. Silly hat. Crazy hair. Mismatch. Dress like your favorite teacher.  Inside out/backward clothing. These are all excellent examples and notice that they are simple enough that almost every kid could participate. Now let me tell you some of the days that my son’s high school has had: Country western. Barbie and Ken (think pink). Dress like a twin day. Adam Sandler. Flannel or plaid. Do you know how many moms out there who are, like me, thinking, “Crap, I don’t have any of that!” What happened to throwing on pj’s and calling it good? Give me school colors day and I got that one in the bag. Inside out clothing? Check. Even tie dye. Done. But Country Western day? No thanks. Barbie and Ken? Maybe if I had a cardigan he could tie around his shoulders, sure. (Eyeroll)

Perhaps, if you gave us like 6 weeks’ notice, we might be able to buy (read: place an Amazon order) in time to make sure the kid had an appropriate amount of spirit that week. But no, you spring it on us a week before and we (I) probably forget about it until Sunday night anyway, so it’s not realistic to expect us (me) to have any of our (my) shit together enough to pull this off.

While I’m on my spirit week soapbox, let me ask why we now have to have THREE of them every year? Was it not enough torture to do it 5 days so you figured you’d add another 10? What did I do in a previous life to have this torment inflicted upon me? Now I’m looking for ugly holiday sweaters and cowboy hats thrice annually? Just shoot me now. I don’t know if I can make it though another 27 spirit weeks in my life. Even you must admit that 135 days of “positive personality” is a lot. (I felt like I’d been typing the word spirit too much and it was starting to give me a complex. Hello thesaurus!)

So if you’ll excuse me, I have to go celebrate disgruntled parent week. It’s like spirit week except it involves parents pulling their hair out, spiking their coffees, and muttering unintelligibly under their breath.

 

 

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