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I’m one of those moms who takes hundreds of pictures. Vacations, outings, holidays, special moments, soccer matches or Saturday morning…..I have almost 2 dozen photo albums and a bulging Shutterfly account. If you’re wondering, yes, they are all notated on the back and in chronological order in albums. (C’mon, it’s like you don’t even know me after 10 years.)
Because if there is one thing that I’ve learned in my 26
years of parenting…if you blink, you’ll find yourself the parent of a 26 year old,
wondering what the hell happened and where your size 6 jeans went. (They were
last seen many, many maternity pants ago.)
I think pictures are my way of coping with children who
refuse to stay little forever. (Even though I ask them pretty much weekly to
stop growing up.) In six months I will have a senior in high school for the
third time. My youngest will be starting middle school. I find myself in this
weird flux where I am starting to look forward to a time when we are empty
nesters and able to travel and trying to hold onto every single moment from
their childhood before they fly the coop for good. If you had told me 20 years
ago that I would one day become a maudlin old lady, I would call you a bald-faced
liar. And yet, here I am. A maudlin old mom trying to hold on to her babies through
digital imagery.
I think
back to the early years of my two oldest children, before digital cameras and pictures you
could order straight to your mailbox, and I feel like they got gypped. Not only
do I have limited photos of them, but I have hardly any pictures of me
with them. (This was pre-selfie. I know, I’m ancient. I prefer the term “antique”
though.) And as I got older, I started to get very self-conscious about being memorialized
as I was in that moment. I felt awkward, messy, fat or unkempt. I didn’t want
my kids to remember mom as I was at that specific point in time. Which was
stupid since that’s exactly how they remember me. But instead of judging me for
having messy hair or a squishy tummy, they remember hugs and snuggle and
laughs. If there is one thing I could go back and tell myself, it would be to
take the picture. You are going to want those memories one day. Messy hair, exhausted
from sleepless newborn nights, or in a bathing suit at the beach, just take
the picture. I can’t believe how many more memories I could have saved in
pictures that I didn’t want to take. (Just think, I could be well over two
dozen albums by now!)
By the
time that I got over myself, I was always the one behind the camera, not in
front of it. There are many vacations and Christmases past where there might be
one, possibly two, pictures of me. I enlisted my husband to take photos of me
just to have proof that I was actually there. Now I just have to get him to
send them to me. I got a glimpse of his camera roll the other day and there were
so many adorable pics of the boys on there that I had never seen, let alone
saved and printed for the albums. (Yeah, I would definitely be over 24 with
those.)
In our
kitchen we have a digital screen that we view pictures on. It cycles
through them and it’s a nice variety of images from the last few years.
Probably my favorite picture on there is one that was taken by a stranger. When
you’re trying to incorporate your whole family in a picture it’s usually a selfie
type of snap with someone’s head half out of the picture or squished in at the bottom.
You are grateful to have the whole family together but it’s not the same as a
picture taken by someone else, with entire bodies of all family members! (Look
at that, we had legs the whole time!) So when this lovely women saw us struggling
to squish ourselves together for this picture she offered to take it for us. I try
to pay that small favor forward whenever I can. If I see someone doing the
selfie squish, I will offer to take their picture. Or if I see the photographer
combo swap with them taking turns to get everyone in the pics, I will offer to
take the picture. Because one day, it might be their favorite picture too.
While I’m
not telling you to meet my fanatical level of picture taking, (it’s probably
best if you start slow and work up to obsessive), I do encourage you
to take more pictures. Friends, family, pets, sunsets, flowers…. whatever makes
you happy. And if your eye spies the selfie squish or photographer swap, offer
to take the picture. Maybe we can all pay it forward enough to make it a thing.
Need constant mayhem in your
life? Find me on FaceBook (modernmommayhem)
More mayhem than that? Occasionally
find me on Instagram (@modernmommayhem)
Want to send me some parental
anecdotes or divine inspiration for a future blog? You can email me at
modernmommayhem@gmail.com.
