Monday, March 31, 2025

Taking a Leisurely Socials Scroll

               With the many streaming platforms available to us, whether it’s reels or Instagram or TikTok, there are plenty of options when it comes to how to waste our waking hours scrolling the Interwebs.

                My personal favorite is TikTok since the algorithm will learn my preferences and show me more of my specific brand of brain rot. (I have standards on how I waste my time, thank you very much.)

                If I had to guess how many people are guilty of this same type of mindless scrolling, I’d have to point the finger at pretty much everyone alive on the planet. (Not the un-alive ones though. Probably difficult to rot a brain that’s already, uh, rotting. Too dark? Sorry.) I’d also have to include myself in that list.

                That’s right. Not only am I pointing the finger, but I am also pointing the thumb. If you want to find someone who excels at getting caught up in weird video vortexes, I’m your gal. (Vortexi? Neither plural seems right to be honest.)

                It started off pretty innocuous. Comedians, funny animals, cute and sassy kids, generation X call outs. Then I found myself falling into some very specific, and sometimes odd, rabbit holes. Has anyone seen the rug cleaning videos that were all the rage a while back? (Say yes. I’ll feel better.) Basically, they took a nasty, filthy rug that was completely black and proceeded to clean it 400 times until it was restored to its former glory. Now, I have previous experience being mesmerized by cleaning videos (see the oxy clean informercial) so it stands to reason that sometimes my OCD demands entertainment too. I did eventually start scrolling to the end just to see the finished product because there is only so much dirty water and squeegeeing one person can handle. The algorithm either took the hint or they stopped cleaning rugs, not sure which.

                One trend that I fell deeply into was the gender reveal videos. I don’t need to know the people to enjoy them finding out the gender of their baby, right? RIGHT??? They even started making compilations of them so that I could just binge like a dozen of them right in a row without even having to lift a scrolling finger. (Handy!) I think part of my fascination with these is the creative ways people have come up with to find out. It used to just be colored filling in cake and now we have sumo babies fighting, fountains that turn pink or blue, and one I even saw that involved a jet dropping colored powder. Bonus points if it’s a reveal of multiples because it really does make me appreciate that all of my zygotes decided to put the other competitors in a headlock to win sole fetushood.

                Another trend that I will never get tired of is the practice of giving voices to things that ordinarily do not have one. (Like pets, newborn babies, seasons etc.) If this is your jam, I encourage you to find Elle Cordova whose personification of fonts and plate tectonics never fail to crack me up with her clever banter and witty repartee. If you prefer something a little more down to Earth, check out Matt Mitchell’s accurate depictions of most things Southern or B Mo The Prince’s take on religious figures, generations, politics, and pretty much anything else that strikes his imagination. RxCKSTXR will add a voiceover to cute pet videos that will make you swear that those pets wrote the script and performed it all on their own. This is probably one rabbit hole that I fall into daily, but honestly, I’m not mad about it. I love to find creative entertainers and creators, especially in these days of chaos and sadness when we could all use a good laugh.

                There was one very strange period where I got on the ghosty side of Tik Tok though. I don’t even know how it happened. I mean, I just told you the type of things I binge during my self-appointed scroll time. And I’m not talking about the cute Casper type ghost stories either. Nope, I’m talking about the ones that people use to prove that poltergeists are real and that documentaries are based on. The kind that make you sleep with the lights on and buy sage to cleanse your own home. You know, just in case. (Crosses my fingers, throws a pinch of salt over my shoulder, makes the sign of the cross.) I am not sure what broke that spell but I am just happy that I can go back to sleeping in the dark without fear of an 80 year old ghost hovering over me in my sleep. (Well actually, now that I’m thinking about it again….)

                So, if you’re feeling bad about “doom scrolling”, don’t. We all do it. Or most of us. Some of us will even admit it out loud. Just do yourself a favor and stay off haunted Tok. It’s not for the faint of heart. (Or scaredy cats like me.)

               

 

              

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