Oh Dahling, You MUST Try The Spa!

Picture this: It's the end of a long week. You haven't slept an entire night in months, you're hungry, tired, and stressed. To top it all off, you're not speaking to your family and your job is emotionally exhausting. You decide a day at the spa is truly the rejuvenating experience that your life is lacking. After all, it's rough being three months old.

That's right, there's a spa for babies. It's called FloatBabies (http://floatbabies.com) and it's geared for infants aged 2 weeks to 6 months. Because it's super stressful eating, sleeping, and pooping all day. (Just ask the dog!) Luckily, the nice people at FloatBabies saw this void and filled it. Now your baby can escape their cares and float in a neck doughnut for twenty five minutes.

I don't know, that one baby looks a little pissed off if you ask me.

I tried to wrap my head around the concept of a baby spa and I just can't. Don't get me wrong, I know there are benefits of massage and water therapy and all that hippie dippie hoo doo. I think yoga and walking and centering your chakras are great. When you actually have something to be worried about. I'm just not getting what my four month old would be going through that he would need to relax at the spa. Teething? Soggy diapers? 

Also, I'm one of those worrywart moms who thinks of all the possible things that can go wrong and then tries to take precautions against them. (A.K.A. Overprotective Crazy Mom) So I look at this picture with the babies in the neck floaties and worry that the baby's going to slip out and go under water or that there's going to be some sort of neck damage or that my kid would be traumatized and not be able to even eat a Lifesaver's candy without calling his therapist.

But I went to their website anyway and checked it out for research purposes. The testimonials were amusing and I felt bad that I was amused by a parent who was genuinely happy that their baby had a huge bowel movement and slept through the night after a "movement session". (Oh.....that's why it's a movement session? Eww.) According to the website, water therapy can improve lung development, benefit the cardiovascular system, and increase muscular and skeletal strength. They'll also be able to play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata with their toes by age one. (Actually, I made that last one up. I bet you couldn't even tell.)

So since we don't live anywhere close to Houston, I guess my poor child will just have to continue living his stressed out, non-water therapy life. The poor thing will have to suffer with regular lung development and skeletal strength like his siblings. If he starts to feel left out I can always throw him in a swimming pool in a few years.