Christmas Card Evolution

I've been mentally writing this post for a while now but ended up missing the mark on timeliness because the holidays refused to slow down. So before you proceed, I ask that you dial your mental calendar back a day or seven.

I love Christmas mail. (On the other hand, I don't like post Christmas mail at all.) Not only am I sure to be collecting packages from my online Christmas shopping, but there's also the cards. Christmas cars are exciting because it's mail that's not a bill. With email and texting and social media, we don't use "snail mail" much anymore. But I've noticed a certain pattern with card sending and I think it directly corresponds to age.

See, when you're first starting out, maybe single, or maybe newly married, the process goes like this:

The day after Thanksgiving: Prepare list of card recipients.
Two days after Thanksgiving: Buy cards and postage stamps.
Three days after Thanksgiving: Fill out cards, including a small, personal note in each one. Address and stamp envelopes. Place in mailbox the next day. The whole procedure is completed by the first of December.

Having a child might change this scenario, but not by much. It might now include making personalized photo Christmas cards to show off your super special progeny and also, it might cause the timeline to be off by about a week. So now the entire process is completed by the end of the first week of December.

Now adding another kid can either put this timeline off by another week if you're super organized or, if you're like me, it could mean you only manage to get the cards out every other year. You have good intentions, but they get buried under school concerts, baking for parties, and trying to wrap presents in the 35 minutes between your kid's bedtime and you passing out in an exhausted heap.

Anything after those two kids though and you're entering serious fairy tale land. "Once upon a time, Mommy had more than three brain cells and used to mail magical cards of Christmas joy to her friends and family. Then youse guyses was borned and hooked on phonics stopped working for me. The end."

This becomes the new card sending process:

Thanksgiving: I should send cards early this year and get ahead of the game this year. I'll take a picture of the kids tomorrow.
Four days after Thanksgiving: Crap, I forgot to take a picture of the kids.
December 3rd: Sh*t! I still haven't taken a picture of the kids. I really want to send picture cards because I forgot to send them last year. And the year before.
December 8th: Oh. My. God. Are you kidding me? I need to get those cards ordered. Where's my camera?
December 15th: Are you %@$*# serious right now? I might as well just buy some cards at Target at this rate. If I buy them tonight I can get them to the post office tomorrow and they'll arrive before Christmas.
December 16th: Ugh, I forgot cards last night. How did I still walk out of there with $78 of crap?
December 20th: Holy crap, how did it get to be 5 days before Christmas? Maybe I can still sneak some cards out. There's still 4 mail days until Christmas after all.
December 26th: F**k. I forgot cards again this year. Maybe I'll take a picture right now and start on next year's right now. No, I'm sure I'll get them out on time next year.

Of course, I now manage to complete the whole "card trick" every third year. And only because Walmart has a cool function that allows you to order and pay online and stop by the store to pick them up. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure my card days would have been long over. Of course, once I'm retired and have all that time on my hands, I'll have the ability to be organized and prepared again. Too bad that's still 20 years away.