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Son number 2 is heading off to college in the fall. This is
the child who has always been laid back and chill, sometimes to the point of
not making a decision because he doesn’t have an opinion either way. Having a laid-back
child means less conflict, right?
So,
tell me why this whole college experience has been a trial?
Last
fall, when I was trying to set up college visits for him, he didn’t even know
what subject he wanted to study other than “Math or Science”. When I set up
some college tours so that he could get a feel for campus life and maybe
explore what topics might interest him, he didn’t understand why I was
interrupting his social life for this.
(Cue
parental pinch of the bridge of the nose, universal sign for “God grant me the
patience”.)
The
first college tour gave me a false sense of hope. He seemed engaged and interested,
he liked that the classes and campus were on the smaller side because he didn’t
want to go to a large college and even found a field of study that had potential.
(Well, I did say FALSE hope.)
After
that first college visit, now that he found an area of interest and narrowed
his degree to an actual specific option, he didn’t know why I was still making
him go to college visits that didn’t have his degree program. You know, the
ones that I set up when he had no clue what he wanted to do?
(Quick
meditative chant of “I love this child” until irritation levels reach normal
again.)
So, I
cancelled those tours and set up college visits that did have his field of
interest and again, I was interrupting his social life because he didn’t have
to see a college to go to it. You read that right. He doesn’t have to see a
college in order to attend. Excuse me, what now?
(Deep breath in, trying not to
scream in parental frustration)
When he ruled out a college tour because he didn’t want to go see it, I agreed. There were a few reasons he cited for his decision, and they were very sensible. Not to mention, at this point I’m trying not to pull all of my hair out and it seemed like a break was exactly what both of us needed.
Until that college became his
number one choice. Yup, the one that he said he probably wouldn’t go to, the
one that was the farthest away from home, the one that was “too big”, the one
that only has the most basic of degrees for his field of study…that one. Why? Well
because his friends are going there of course. Duh.
(Okay, permission to scream in
parental frustration granted in three, two, one….)
AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!
Apparently, I am crazy for
expecting my child to go to a university that has his degree program when clearly,
it’s a matter of socialization. Adding to this problem is that my husband, who
was the popular sports jock extraordinaire during his academic years, doesn’t see the problem with this. I am alone
on my island of disbelief. A sad sack island with a party of one nerd with her logic
and lists and pros and cons.
Said son, who is a Taurus by the
way, has dug his heels in about going to this college sight unseen. All
attempts to persuade him to consider one of the colleges that have his actual
degree (and one that he has actually laid eyes on) have fallen on deaf
ears. I have become the unreasonable one since it’s completely normal to follow
your friends, like lemmings jumping off a cliff, without regard for
practicalities. Basing your college pick on such things as logic and class
selection are so yesterday's generation, I guess.
After this experience, I am
convinced that teenagers are the reason that so many parents have a mid-life
crisis. There’s no way that getting your teenager through this process doesn’t
cause some sort of psychological scarring. And if you are a parent that managed
to skate through this process unscathed, I have some pretty colorful language
to share with you on how I feel about that. Misery loves company and I expect
you to have suffered along with the rest of us parents of maddeningly
frustrating Gen Z children.
At the very least, you can keep
your gloating to yourself.
Need another dash of mayhem? Find
me on FaceBook at Modern Mom Mayhem.
Occasionally I’m mayhemming on
Instagram (@modernmommayhem)
Want to share your mayhem? Send an
email to modernmommayhem@gmail.com.
