If You Are What You Eat, I'm in Trouble

I can’t eat organic foods. I’d like to be one of those granola munching, yoga mat toting, all-natural-foods-are-the-only- thing-I-put-in-my-body types. But I can’t. Because I can’t afford it.

For some reason, organic food costs a lot more than its non-organic counterpart, something that is mind boggling to me. You mean to tell me that food, which has nothing done to it, costs more than the food that was sprayed with pesticides or used a chemical laden fertilizer? So, to go back to our natural, organic roots, we’re paying more? Ok, one more time. We pay more for less and less for more? I’m still not getting it.

Who knew grandma and grandpa were so hip?

Do you know what doesn’t cost more? Pre-packaged, over processed foods loaded with artificial this-es and that-ses that contain more fat than an entire season of The Biggest Loser contestants. Yep, all the really bad for you stuff is all us middle class working stiffs can afford. You know the saying, “You are what you eat”?  I’m in trouble because that means I am cheap, easy, and quick to heat.

Add other stumbling blocks like family size and parents who both work full time and this is a recipe for convenience food. Sure, I’m aware that those hot dogs are terrible for you and one day we’ll probably find out they cause cancer somehow. Unfortunately, right now, I have to make sure one kid is at soccer in a half an hour and a second one has to be at drama rehearsal. So that long, leisurely dinner with organic kale and steamed broccoli on the side is a distant dream. (More distant since none of my family would eat kale, organic or otherwise.) Plus, the hot dogs cost 1/3 of what it would cost to get enough steak to feed the same number of kids. Now, I know Math was never my strong suit, but even I can do this basic addition.

Even when I try to offer my kids healthier alternatives I can’t win. For example, if I bake cookies they won’t have all the preservatives and additives that the pre-packaged crap has, right? Sure. Except, you’re not really going to use that flour are you? It’s been bleached. And that white sugar? It’s also been bleached and I think there was even an article explaining how refined sugars cause cancer. Dammit people, I just wanted to bake some love in the form of chocolate chip cookies for my kids. Now I’m killing them with over-processed foods again. (Maybe this is the origin of the phrase “Killing them with kindness”.) And that milk I planned to give with those cookies? Well, you know it has a ton of hormones that they give to the cows, right?

So if I can’t afford organic I’ll have to settle for whatever I can afford that will fill my children’s stomachs while providing them with at least the basic nutrition to help them grow. (Even if those growths will one day have to be removed.) So we’ll just say until I win the lottery (or until someone generously donates to the “I’m tired of working so give me money for no reason” fund), it’s soccer night. That means dinner’s full of GMO’s, HMO’s, FBI’s, and CIA’s. Plus some ET’s, ESP’s and NCAA’s to boot.