Channeling Your Inner Insensitivity

Unless you've been living under a boulder, you've probably heard that Prince is dead. (Pssst, quick side bar, wasn't he "The Artist Formerly Known As Prince"? And was that the same as when he changed his name to that weird symbol which didn't have a name and that's why he was the artist formerly blah blah blah? I'm confused. When did he become "The Artist Known As Prince Again Because He's Not The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Anymore Possibly Because He Got A Clue And Realized How Stupid It Was Or More Likely That It Was Really Hard To Sign That Symbol On All The Important Paper Stuff"?) Anyway, yeah, so he's no longer among the living anymore.

Cue the sad symphony music. 

And 17 billion artist tributes of Purple Rain.

Okay, so I guess I'm just a cold, heartless farce of a human being because I am completely over hearing about this. Seriously. Enough already. I don't need to know the minutiae of this whole procedure. (I barely need to hear the basics.) I don't need hourly updates.

"Cause of death STILL unknown, but an autopsy will determine the cause."

"The remains have been transported to the morgue, where an autopsy is slated to be performed, so that we can ascertain the cause of death."

"The two pathologists who are vying for the case are now doing rock, paper, scissors to determine who will perform the autopsy that will determine the cause of death."

"They are now performing rock, paper, scissors again since the best two out of three was a draw. This final hand gesture could make one pathologist's career if he is the one who will perform the autopsy on Prince, which will determine the cause of death."

And on and on and on.

We get it. He's dead. We don't know why. But it's sad. So sad that every artist who is on the top 40 charts right now, or ever has been, is doing a cover of (insert a Prince song, probably Purple Rain or Little Red Corvette) as a special tribute to the musician who nobody remembered until he died. Oops, sorry, that was probably a little harsh if not truthful. But since I'm already being honest, let's take it a step further, shall we?

The man was a weirdo. And hey, that's ok. I'm all for your freak flag flying high as long as it doesn't involve hurting people or animals. But now we're just supposed to idolize the man because he made some hits in the 90's that will forever live on and serve as his legacy? Meanwhile, other news is happening in the world, but because it doesn't trump the juicy tidbit of a dead musician, no one hears about it.

If you think I'm overreacting, consider this: When the news broke that he had died, me and the family were driving to vacation. We were in a car, not near a television, just listening to some tunes when our phones started pinging notifications about Prince's death. And they weren't even Prince Fan Apps either. (If they made them, I wouldn't know but there's an app for everything these days, right?) By the time we got to our destination, I was already sick of hearing about it, and that was due solely to satellite radio hosts and social media.

On top of that, now I see this meme 10,000 times on my FaceBook wall:

It's uber creepy that he wrote a lyric so fitting for his own death.

And then there's this one:

Okay, I'll admit, it's a pretty drink....If you like the taste of sadness.

Rest in peace Prince. Or, uh, symbol that represents your name after you decided to change it. May your days now be filled with purple rain, raspberry berets, and lots of partying like it's 1999. Just as long as I don't have to hear about it.