I'm Just Here for the Comments

           Have you ever noticed that the internet is just really freaking mean nowadays? Like it's Gretchen from “Mean Girls”. (Oh boy, I’m showing my age with a 2004 movie reference, huh? Not fetch.)

Not only is the internet mean, but it's also totally judgmental. It’s as if everyone has to be uber cruel if they have any sort of differing opinion. There doesn’t seem to be any tact anymore. Back in my day, (Yikes, I AM old!) we could disagree on a public forum with someone politely, without feeling offended that they didn’t think the same way. Consider the following example:

Adult #1: “I think that women should stay at home and take care of their children because it affords more quality bonding time between mother and child.”

Adult #2: “While I can see your point, I politely disagree. Having time apart helps both mother and child appreciate the quality of the time they do get to spend together. Also, not all households can sustain themselves on one income.”

Adult # 3: “Yes, you do make a valid point, I hadn’t thought of that.”

See? Civil and refined. Dignified and cultured. It’s called conversation people. Both parties are entitled to their opinions without getting into verbal fisticuffs and resorting to insults.

Here is how that conversation would read in today’s internet culture:

Adult # 1: “Women should stay home and take care of their kids. I mean, they wanted them in the first place. And they only get 18 summers before that child is an adult, so they should savor as much time as they can. If not, they clearly don’t love the kid and should not be a parent. Motherhood equals sacrifice.”

Adult # 2: “You are a misogynistic idiot. You probably don’t even have kids so you have no idea what you are talking about. Maybe you should shut your stupid sexist mouth before spouting off this crap on the internet.”

Adult # 3: “Women and men should have equal parenting duties. Maybe Dad should stay home with the kid if he feels so strongly about it. And just because people don’t have children, doesn’t mean they don’t have a brain. I am a proud dog mom and it’s basically the same thing as having a child.”

Adult # 4: “I agree. I stayed home with all 6 of my children and it was a fantastic experience that I think every mother should have.

Adult # 5: @Adult#3 “You sound like a moron trying to say that having a dog is the same thing as having a kid. Stupid people like you shouldn’t procreate and spread the dumbness around.

I know, right? MEAN! Everyone seems to think that their opinion is the only opinion and that if they just cram it down your throat enough, they can change your mind. I’m not sure why this seems to be the prevailing public consensus because I have never seen that actually work. Does that actually work? I mean, other than the person just getting tired of arguing and conceding to get the conversation over quicker. THAT I could totally see happening. This is why we need to limit our kid’s social media access. Kids are already little terrors, we don’t need to give them any more ideas. (Geez, isn’t that a terrifying thought?) Do we tell our children all of the things that we got away with as children? NO! We don’t need them getting any bright ideas on their own let alone letting them borrow all the imbecilic hijinks that we got up to in our misguided youth.

Yet… while I am supportive of all this peace, love, and happiness crap…. I do have a small confession. These internet arguments make for mindless entertainment sometimes. Have you ever gone to the comments section of an article that you know, just from the title, is making people’s heads explode? There’s usually some comedic gold there. Not only for the sheer number of ignorant comments, but there are always that demographic who link everything to a conspiracy theory and make it a pastime to scroll internet comment sections to scatter their wacko thoughts. If you can find one of those threads, that’s a mind trip right there. (I try to make their jump from the logical point to the Twilight Zone but I’m always missing a few dozen steps.)

While it’s not common to find the Religious Rapture supporters, you usually do find three main groups of commenters. The first ones agree with the article, the second disagree with the article, and the third just want to make disparaging remarks about another person’s comment. My advice is to skim quickly until you find a really inflammatory comment (“Target selling rainbow t-shirts is causing my child to be gay.”) or just downright stupid (“The Earth is flat. There’s no evidence to support a circular Earth.) Actually, I guess both are examples of stupid and inflammatory comments. Anyway, as I was saying, those are the ones that are popcorn worthy. Sometimes I'm not sure I want to laugh with incredulity that these people are so earnest in their beliefs or cringe that these people accept these things as the truth.

Image credit: Google search

And for all those who want to come for me in MY comment section, maybe saying I’m the mean one to use this as entertainment, please think a long minute before typing your rant. (Oh, wait, the bag says 2 ½ minutes.) It’s probably best to give pause and reflect for 2 and a half minutes before posting something that you might regret.

<Microwave Ding>

Then again, who am I to stop you?

 

Need more mayhem? Look for me on my socials on Instagram (@modernmommayhem) or FaceBook (Modern Mom Mayhem).

Want to give me something to rant about next month? Shoot me an email at modernmommayhem@gmail.com.