I Can't Find the Off Switch

I’ve been a mom for (indistinct mumbling) years now and it’s gotten to the point where I am not sure I can turn it off. Sure, I still have kids at home that need all the mothering, but what about when it spills over into other areas of your life?

Got a problem? Like Vanilla Ice, Yo I’ll solve it! Need a random parenting tip that I’ve learned in my (indistinct mumbling) of experienced parenting years? Gotcha covered. Need a recipe for a picky eater? No, seriously, anyone got one? This kid is killing me here. Oh wait, are you hungry? I’ll just whip up something really quick for you. No, no, it’s no trouble at all.

Women are always worried about having that maternal instinct when they have children. We worry that we won’t have it, that we won’t bond with our child, or that we won’t know what’s best for our children. No one ever talks about what to do when you’ve developed too much maternal instinct though. Is there an off switch? Can I reset to the default settings if I unplug it and plug it back in? Is there an upgraded model that maybe doesn’t run on such a high setting?

You'd think that knowing the fact that I am a “nurturer” would help. Yet it’s like someone turned the settings to autopilot and the switch is stuck there. There’s just something about the oldest daughter/over achieving/Taurus combination that makes it a permanent feature. The switch has on and onner. (More on? Mostest on?)

Sadly, it’s not even reserved for just the people I know. Are we in a grocery store and you can’t reach something on that higher shelf? Here, let me get that for you. Are you older and struggling to bring your shopping cart back? I’ll take that, you have a nice day now. Do you need directions to a restaurant in town? You just take a left at the light and go three blocks until you see the Walmart sign and it’s on the right.

There have been times when I am convinced that I should have been born in the Midwest, doncha know. That’s the level of helpfulness that I am attaining some days. And if it’s not trying to be helpful that’s killing me, it’s the inability to say no that might. What's that? You need volunteers for that committee? Sure, I can help. You need donors for that fundraiser? Let me get my wallet. Need 8 dozen cookies made for a school function during the week when I already have no time? Absolutely hon, not a problem at all. I can sleep when I die. You need a kidney? Well, I do have an extra one that I'm not using (much).

Is there a support group for this? And if not, should I form one?

"Hello all. Welcome to our weekly meeting of OMM Anonymous. We have a new member tonight. Would you like to introduce yourself to the group?"

"Hi, I'm Kathleen and I'm an overmothering mom."

(group greeting) "Hi Kathleen."

"It all started on D day...Delivery day..."

Wait a minute, what was I thinking? I don't have time to form a support group. I have too much achieving to, er, achieve. Maybe next week then. Right now I have to add over committing and under sleeping to this life's to-do list.

 

 

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