Applications Being Rejected in 2025

This year seems to already be a lot, and it’s only January. In order to make it through the rest of the year with my sanity intact, what little is left anyway, here are some things that I’m not accepting for the 2025 season.

1. Workplace drama. Is it just me or did the adults used to be adultier? Maybe it was my childish perspective of looking up to the grown-ups in my life that made them seem so mature and well put together, but those people do not seem to exist anymore. At least in office culture. I used to believe that I was just unfortunate to work in a place that made me feel like I was living in an episode of Degrassi or Beverly Hills 90210. After consultations with other friends and family members, however, I have come to realize that it is the norm for many places of business. Listen, I graduated high school a long time ago. (Ok, ok, a looooong time ago.) I have no desire to be embroiled in the clique wars anymore. I do not get paid enough to do my job AND put up with teenage antics.

                2.  All the “isms”. Sexism, racism, homophobia-ism…I’m not tolerating any of them. In this day and age, you should be accepting of all the types of people that make the world go round. Yes, even the weirdos. Those are the best ones. They add interesting spice to the hum drum boringness of everyday life. If you are a repressed weirdo, stop hiding it. Let that freak flag fly. Only small minded people cannot fathom that your sparkle doesn’t have to dim because they said so. I myself am a Class B weirdo. No really, that’s the official designation. Hopefully I can work my way up to the Class A belt soon. (Keep your fingers crossed for me!)

                3. Internet trolls. You know that expression? “Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one and sometimes they stink.” I am seeing an uptick in the number of keyboard warriors who make it their job to be as cruel and/or as dumb as possible to anyone who has a differing opinion. In case no one ever told you, people CAN have different viewpoints. But people have to people so I end up super annoyed reading dumb ass comments like “You can change the channel” or “You don’t have to listen to that song if you hate it so much”. Thank you, Internet Iris. I never would have known that if you hadn’t so snottily pointed it out. You know what else Iris? People have managed to scroll on without feeling the need to convey every loose thought that pops into their heads. It’s called “self-control”. You should try it sometime.

                4. Cold weather. Enough is enough winter. Like snow and overcast skies aren’t enough to make us all melancholy and dream of the glory days of summer, now you want single digit temperatures and windchill factors? I can only add so many layers until I look like Ralphy’s little brother and while I am not tempted to stick my tongue to any flagpoles, I am beginning to covertly research real estate in warmer climes. And for those Southern regions who recently got snow where they normally don’t: knock it off. Where am I going to run to when it’s teeth chatteringly cold up North if you’re copying our weather?

                5. Idiot drivers. Have you ever been having a pleasant day and then get stuck behind someone who looks like they’re auditioning for the role of the driver in “driving Miss Daisy”? Or behind someone who drives 5 miles under the speed limit, then speeds up, then slows down again, swerves over the middle line for a second, straightens out, speeds up, brakes hard around the teeniest corner, and then has their turn signal on for just shy of 12 city blocks before turning? I think we can all agree on this. If you can’t drive the speed limit or never learned what the stick on the side of the steering column does, you need to just stay home. Or hire yourself a driver who isn’t scared of turn signals and passed the signs portion of the driving test on the first try.

                I am sure I could write a short novel on all of the applications I plan on denying for 2025, but what if I need another idea in the next 11 months? 

                Tell me, what are you throwing out the window for 2025? (Other than sanity, hope and faith in humanity?)

 

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