Save The Drama For Your Mama!

Have you heard about the lottery winner who wants his life to go back to normal? "Wild Willie" Seeley and 15 of his co-workers split a $450 million jackpot. He wants to go back to being paid every other week and has even gone so far to call his winnings a curse. Here are some reasons I'd like this problem, or if you will, curse:

Hello new closet! And new bedroom and new bathrooms and new backyard. Yes, I'd upgrade this old house  to OurHouse 2.0: A sleeker, more spacious version of our current house. Nothing that looks like I need to start having a chauffeur or start eating Grey Poupon or anything. But I could probably be talked into 2,800 square feet. At almost 3 times the size of OurHouse 1.0, it would be an extreme upgrade!

Being able to stop being "the cheap old broad". Have you heard the saying "I pinch pennies so hard I make Lincoln scream"? We didn't coin the phrase, we just live it. I'm one of the few people I know who actually writes down their budget every month. Just once I'd like to be able to fly by the seat of my pants and walk into Target and buy something unplanned. That's right, living on the edge! Just pay the bills willy nilly, not when I have them penciled in according to my bi-weekly paychecks. I'd like to stop "cooking the books" in my house.

Hello cook, what's for dinner? Ah, yes, remember my lotto fantasy that involves dumping the stress of menu planning and cooking and having someone to do it for me? It's still on my list. In fact, it might have moved up higher than number 1. I don't know what number that is, but that's how much I wish I could have a personal chef.

Actually, I changed my mind about the chauffeur. Oh, not for me of course. For the kids. And their 20 different activities and clubs and events that they have to be carted to, dropped off at, or picked up from. Can you imagine the stress free life of having someone drop you off at the school band concert, no fighting for parking, no getting there 35 minutes early just to grab a parking spot that doesn't make you walk a half mile to the school entrance? Doesn't that sound lovely?

Two words: new furniture. Without dog hair, sippy cup spills, sweat stains, or kid grunge. Yes, I know that I'd have to get new furniture again once the children are grown and gone, but it would be worth it to have 3 whole weeks of clean furniture. (Let's be realistic, that's probably as long as it would stay clean.)

A big ass garage. Yes, I want one of those ridiculously hideous 3 car garages. I want me and the hubby to be able to park the cars in the winter so we can be lazy and not have to shovel it all off PLUS have an extra bay to store the crap that seems to live in garages. With a one car garage, accumulating that crap means you're probably scraping ice off the windshield in zero degree weather. (This probably involves some swearing too.)

Are there downsides to coming into a large sum of money? Hell yes! Would I like the chance to prove that I'm up to the challenge? Most definitely. So if you're listening Lotto Fairy, I could really use your help.

This is how most of my lotto tickets look.