All That Crap and More!

So, I've been looking online at baby crap recently. No, not actual crap, that's nasty. I mean all the things that are designed to care for and carry your baby and some things that I've found are just a savings to my sanity. By baby number four, you know what products you need and what are just designed to suck those first time parents into flushing money down the drain on something that they are convinced they absolutely need.

I start with the baby bath tubs. Now, this is a particularly sore subject for me right now because of the toddler bath seat. I had a bath seat that I used for the younger two that I loved, loved, loved. Literally, I had just gotten rid of it 3 months before finding out I was pregnant. Of course, I can't find another one like it since it was an archaic piece of plastic equipment that was 12 years old. But I digress. I'm looking online at bath seats and I come across this little gem:

I might have bought it if it had jets and a head rest.

This is the Aqua Scale 3-in-1 Infant Bathtub. Yes folks, for a low $69.99 (SEVENTY DOLLARS!) you could have a combination bath tub, water thermometer, and scale. Forget just bathing your baby, now you can make sure that they maintain a constant weight through out the entire bath! Make sure that you aren't boiling baby's precious skin with the built in water thermometer. Never again will you have to make the water "tepid" and rely on using your boring old hand to gauge if your baby will scream bloody murder from the scalding water of if they're screaming bloody murder from being cold, naked, and wet!

I just want a plain old bathtub. Now they are inflatable or have slings or are combination bath tub-infant barcalounger-highchairs. They fold up or are designed specifically for sink bathing. When did a bath for my itty, bitty baby become such a huge task? Give me some water, a washcloth, some Johnson's and Johnson's baby bath, and a naked baby. Sure, having something to hold that naked butt is handy, but where are the cheap $15 tubs with the foam back rest and the "bump" that qualifies as a seat? The closest thing I could find was $30 and it's "The First Years Ultimate Comfort Musical Tub". For Lord's sake, we really need a musical bathtub? Does having music for those 9.5 minutes make it that much less traumatic for my baby who's only thoughts are "Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" Also, isn't anything electronic meeting water a bad, bad thing?

The other part of me though, does realize that some things have been made better in the years between children. One thing I think is really cool is something called a "Sleeper". This is basically a fancy way of saying portable bassinet. You can get them for about $40 and they are angled, which is great for babies with acid reflux or new moms who need to check if their baby is still breathing every 37 seconds. (You don't have to bend so far since the baby's elevated.) The best part? It folds and goes easily. It's like a pack and play without all the heavy lifting and confusing set up/dismantling. The only downside I can see is that you'd still end up having to get a pack and play since the Sleeper is only designed to hold your baby up to six months. (I'm definitely thinking I could get $40 use in by the time six months are up though.)

I guess what it all boils down to is that everything they make for baby is now the Cadillac of baby gear. You can't even buy the Ford or Chevy versions anymore. And they know you'll do it too. Because who wants to be the parent who cares less about their baby's safety and comfort? (But that still doesn't mean I'm buying the BMW of bathtubs.)