Parenting is an Emotional Roller Coaster

If there is anything that can get you “up in your feelings” (Hey, I can talk like a cool cat too!), it’s parenting. Good feelings, bad feelings, tired feelings….and more tired feelings. Exhausted feelings. Sleep deprived coma feelings. But enough about how much sleep you’ll never have once becoming a parent, this post is about feelings.

From day one there’s a wide variety of emotions over your child. Love for this tiny new miracle, rapture at counting their itty-bitty toes and fingers, relief that they are finally here, and utter terror because no one prepared you for this. Why did I think I knew what I was doing? I can’t take care of this incredibly small and fragile human. Where is my handy, dandy book that has every answer to every parenting question that I may ever have? Where are the experts to shadow me and make sure that I don’t screw them up? For the love of all that is holy, WHERE IS THE BUBBLE WRAP?!?!?!

Fortunately, we are mostly too tired to function during the early weeks. This anesthetizes us to the parental worries that plague us in our (brief) conscious moments and makes us reflexively care for the precious bundle of joy. By the time we realize we have been on auto pilot, we also realize, “Hey, maybe I CAN do this after all.” (You’re fooling yourself of course. We all are. None of us know what we are doing. Some of us just fake it better than others. Some of us medicate with chocolate cake and coffee. Fine, It’s me. I’m some of us.)

As they grow, learning how to walk and talk, they’ll add a wider and more complex variety of emotions to your repertoire. You’ll experience new awesome feelings like frustration!  Immense pride! Gritting your teeth while practicing deep breathing as you try to teach yourself to be calm. Mentally counting to ten when your sweetest little angel tries your patience. Fortunately, it only happens once every…. hour or so. Every day. From ages two through…. well, I’ll let you know when it finally stops over here.

Once they start school, you’ll learn to become good friends with guilt (Am I spending enough time with them? Am I feeding them enough vegetables? Should I be reading to them more? Are they ahead socially thus making their introvert parent have to mingle at boisterous gatherings? Shudder.), understand how frustration matures into fully formed exasperation, and find the value of alone time to recharge your batteries. Even if it’s just a two minute mental breakdown in the hall closet while you inhale half a package of chocolate chip cookies.

The teen years bring tons more of that exasperation along with fun new emotion combos. Like annoyance love. How is it possible to be SO ANNOYED by someone that you love SO MUCH? (Oh, it’s possible honey. And your teenager is up to the challenge of showing you how.) Disgusted pride. How can socks smell THAT BAD after you’re bursting with pride that your kid played an awesome game of (sports game inserted here). (Oh my god. The stench is truly abominable. Did something die in your shoes? Are you sure? No, no, don’t bring them in the house. Just leave them on the porch. The neighbor’s porch.) And of course, the classic and time honored “exhaustipation guilt”, when you’re too tired to give a crap but usually feel guilty that you’re too tired to give a crap, which usually results in an endless loop. Thankfully, it only lasts 21 to 60 years or so.

Yup, our kids can tug at our heartstrings and dance on our last nerve. Sometimes at the same time. (That’s a talented kid there. You should be so proud of their skills!) They test us by seeing how fast we can move when we see them put something in their mouth that we know they aren’t supposed to have. They push against our boundaries, testing our patience. They make our grinch hearts grow three sizes…and then shrink again when we find out they broke that vase and lied about it. In short, parenting isn’t for the faint of heart.

But, and I’m just spit balling here, has anyone thought that newborns should come with a parent size prescription of Xanax? Asking for a friend.

 

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