How to Introvert

Introverts are going to take over the world someday.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Just kidding! Unless it’s happening from the safety of home over a zoom meeting, the world is safe from an introvert takeover.

There are a lot of misconceptions floating around regarding introverts. I think that term has become synonymous with anti-social. That’s really not true. (Well, mostly.) We are as social as anyone else. We will just need to leave earlier so that we can find some peace, quiet and 5 minutes (or hours) to hear our own thoughts. What, you'd like to know more about that shy, solitary animal known as the introvert? I thought you'd never ask! May I present:

A Guide for Introverting

You must love your own company. I have met people who are unable to be alone. Like EVER. They need people around all the time. I don’t understand this. I love being alone. Quiet does not intimidate me, it rejuvenates me. It puts the pep in my step and the twinkle in my eye. Some people need a three ring circus all the time. I need a circus that went out of business due to a huge clown scandal and is now abandoned.

You must have introvert hobbies. Much like enjoying our own company, introverts also have a variety of hobbies suited to our solitude. This is why you see us enjoying solo activities like reading, writing, gardening, quilting, podcast/audiobook listening, or tv watching. We can amuse ourselves for hours on end without human interaction. In fact, our happy place almost always includes a secluded place where we can while away hours pursuing these hobbies. Don’t worry, we will come up for air and be social again…eventually. (There's a greater possibility of this happening if there's food involved though.)

You must be a great listener. Introverts can be Chatty Cathys (or Chatty Chads), but we also can be amazing listeners. If you need someone to vent to, we are the ones who have your back. Spew all that workplace vitriol and feel better about yourself for having a safe space to get it all out. We won’t judge, believe me, we’ve met “people”. And we’re generally not big fans. We will probably be impressed that you kept that volcano inside for as long as you did without going on a punching spree.

You have a small group of friends. When you’re an introvert, you don’t need scads of people in your circle. In fact, your circle will probably be small and contain a handful of close, trusted individuals. We are loyal to those we deem “our people” however and have no issues becoming the problem if you mess with someone we love.

You’re creative and/or are a problem solver. Is it because we spend so much time in our heads that we can come up with creative outlets and solutions? Maybe. Is that is why we tend to like making art or music or writing? Again, it’s possible. When you become one with the gray matter you’re hauling around upstairs (I mean your head, not like jars in the attic. Gross.) you can untangle those puzzling matters easier than one who hasn’t even met their brain. (That’s probably less an introvert thing than having to deal with stupid people though.)

You like socializing in small doses. Even the most reclusive of souls need to “people” occasionally. While we may not party hardy every single weekend, we have been known to cut a rug every now and again. Sure our social battery drains faster than a late model iPhone in dire need of upgrade, but we earn bonus points for every hour we can manage to stay upright and not melt into an overstimulated puddle of human.

If you can relate to these, congratulations! Your introvert application has been approved. We will send the zoom link for next month’s World Domination Planning Meeting to the email address provided on the application. Happy Introverting!

 

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