Did Someone Say Vacation?

If you are like me, your love language is vacation. And I don’t mean just going, but the planning and the research and all of the components that go into the vacation experience. And depending on your age, there are different stages of vacationing in our lives.

Often your first vacation experiences are as a child, embarking on those memory building family vacations. These are probably the best kind because you don’t have to pay, you don’t have to pack, you don’t have to drive…you just go along for the ride. (Although, let’s be honest, once we reached adulthood and found it to be a one-star experience that we 100% do not recommend, who didn’t want to revert to the carefree days of their childhood immediately?) I did not do a lot of family vacations as a child, and my mother loved camping (which I am even less of a fan of than adulting), but I did get those core memories I mentioned. Even if getting rained out of a campsite or seeing dead jellyfish were not exactly the things that my parents hoped I remember.

The honeymoon is basically a vacation for surviving planning and dealing with all that family for multiple hours on your wedding day. It’s a nice way to start your life off together. A trip that says “Thank God we made it through to this part”. Maybe it’s tropical, maybe its (shudder) camping, but either way, it’s a vacation that has been promoting family expansion for generations. I mean, growing as a newly unified couple. Yeah, that sounds better.

Once you’ve made a person or two of your own, these getaways turn into “family vacations”. At least they do if you bring them, which we always think is a good idea, seemingly never learning from our past experiences. Now you get to be on the other end of this experience, albeit the less fun one, where you DO have to plan and pack and pay. And family vacations when your kid is under 5 is going to be a lot like herding cats and baby octopi at the same time, with sticky arms grabbing something they aren’t supposed to have and someone loudly mewling and knocking over their drink. When they’re young, you always think it’s “bonding time” for your family, but all you are doing is moving your crazy chaos to a new city or state. Now strangers get to watch the horror story of your circus life unfold, instead of your normal group of family and friends. Isn’t it refreshing being judged by fresh eyes instead of familiar ones? On the upside, eventually the kids grow older and family vacations are less chaotic. (The teenage angst stages bring a whole new level of fresh hell to family vacations but that’s another story large chapter book all in itself.) These trips definitely leave you needing a vacation from your vacation.

If you’re truly crazy, you involve multiple families on your vacations. Nothing says “Xanax” like too many opinionated family members, probably ones you’re related to, all trying to decide where to go for dinner or multiplying the mewling, sticky fingered offspring by inviting their equally sticky cousins. Although, having done this a few times, I will say that it was more of that “core memory” mambo jambo that I was talking about earlier. My kids have fond memories of beach vacations with aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins. Plus, many hands make light work…or give you the ability to have someone else watch your heathens long enough to escape for 5 minutes of non-screeching peace.

Maybe once the children are older, or once you and the old ball and chain are empty nesters, you will be able to do couples vacations again. These trips are rewards for surviving your own offspring and, in the case of empty nesters, celebrating that you got them to adulthood alive. Because let’s be honest, there are some years in the middle there that are touch and go. I am not sure why the child models come with an unusually large amount of curiosity and an innate need to stick metal objects into electrical currents but raising them to be their own problem now seems to be our benchmark. It’s probably going to be weird during that first dinner that you don’t need to check what’s on the kid’s menu because you have a picky eater, but the freedom will be addictive. You may want to temper yourself if you’re not fully transitioned into empty nesting and only borrowing it temporarily. It may make it difficult to go back to those bonding and character building family gigs. So use with caution if you’re not at the “fend for yourselves” stage.

                 No matter which stage of vacatoning you are at, I hope you are able to find some fun, make some memories, and escape the boring mundane life you lead for a few days. And if all that isn't happening, maybe you can just plan to vacation at a place that serves really good cocktails.

 

Need mucho mayhem? Find me on FaceBook at Modern Mom Mayhem.

Occasionally I remember I’m on Instagram (@modernmommayhem)

Want to share your mayhem? Send an email to modernmommayhem@gmail.com.