It's Definitely Not FUNdraising

While September brings such lovely things like apple picking, balloon festivals, and crisp evenings, it also brings some not so nice things. Like the National Bank of Mom (that's me), worrying about how your little darlings will look like when they bring their school pictures home next month, and fundraisers.

Now, I have mixed feelings on fundraisers. Personally, I think they have some of the neatest little gadgets. One year I found a visor clip for sunglasses for my husband (before they were everywhere like they are now) and another year I scored a can strainer. Yes, a can strainer! No more squirting tuna fish juice trying to drain that can! (Remember my infomercial sensitivity? It comes back to haunt me with catalogs and fundraisers.) Seriously though, I use that can strainer enough every year to justify the $8.50 I shelled out for this little piece of holey plastic. But I like supporting the kids' schools AND I get a handy, dandy little trinket. It's a win win situation.

"By emptying the pockets of your friends and family!"

Now, when one of my backpack toting brood brings one home, however, I vacillate between joy over a new outlet for my catalogoholic tendencies and frustration that I now have to peddle crap for my kids. And that's exactly what you do, because it's not 1950 anymore and no one feels comfortable telling junior to hit the streets to hock his goods. So we hit up the same people. Every. Single. Time. That's grandma and grandpa, aunts and uncles (and perhaps other assorted family members), and co-workers. We feel enormously guilty and yet we still make them our go to people for fundraisers.

If you're really lucky, your kid will bring home a good fundraiser with a variety of things in it. Candy, jewelry, wrapping paper, kitchen gadgets....all fodder for a fabulous fundraiser. (Like the alliteration there?) If you're not lucky, your kid gets something lame like magazines or cookie dough. When it's magazines I always try to find one for the kids or the husband because I already get 3 magazines a month that I don't read. I surely don't need any more dust collectors. If it's cookie dough (or pizza or any other food product) I'm always a little irritated because have you seen the size of my ass? I don't need any cookies. I need a vegetable peeler that doubles as an apple corer or something like that. Every year the high school band department sends home a cookie fundraiser and every year I sigh and inwardly groan.

Tomorrow is the third day of school and I anticipate any day this coming week as THE DAY. The day that one of my little heathens brings home that shiny catalog of overpriced crap that we all buy because "it's for a good cause". I can only hope that they have chocolate peanut butter cups to go with my vegetable peeling apple corer. Now that would be a coup!