The Littlest Grump in the House

School starts in two days and while I'm inwardly doing the parental touchdown dance, Baby Boy is pissed! This kid is only six years old and already he's decided he doesn't want to go to school. He must be a child prodigy because it took his brother and sister until 4th or 5th grade to decide they hated school. He's stepping up the process.

Since I was a nerdling my whole life (true story), I don't understand how any child cannot love school. You get brand spanking new supplies, new clothes, shiny new sneakers and besides, all your friends are there. What isn't to like about school? Especially first grade. When your school supply lists still include crayons, how rough can you have it? Doesn't he know that most adults would love to be able to spend a day sipping juice boxes and coloring by numbers?

His biggest complaint about going back to school though, seems to stem from the earlier bed times. Every parent probably remembers the last 2 weeks before school starts when you start making them go to bed earlier in preparation for the regular schedule that's resuming. The groans, the pleas, the wheedling for ten more minutes. Baby boy has a future in lawyering since every word out of his mouth is usually a bargain for something. Later bedtime, one more cookie, one last snuggle before bed.

Did you see that? How the first and third in that list are bedtime related? Because he's a smart lawyer. He knows that he can probably tug at the heartstrings of one or both of his parents because who would say no to a sweet snuggle with that precious face? Bam! He's got you just where he wants you and it usually involves staying up later than his bedtime.

In the good old days (when he was an infant) he would sleep like a normal child. But once the toddler bed was introduced, he developed a severe allergy to sleeping and bedtimes. Getting this child to stay in his bed took 3 years. He'd get up, come out, lay on his bedroom floor, play in the hall closet...anything to keep from laying down and actually (gasp!) going to sleep. As the parents, it was (ironically) an exhausting process for us.

So basically, he's decided that school is the crux of the problem and therefore, doesn't want to go to school anymore. Stupid 8:00 bedtimes! Who needs 'em?

His father and I, however, need a nap. Arguing with six year old lawyers is tiring work!