The Jerkwads in Charge at Our School

So, remember when I was lamenting the inevitable dreaded fundraising that was coming to a house near me? Well, it did in fact come to pass. Not once. Not twice. But THREE times. That's right, the third fundraiser came home today. THIRD. FUNDRAISER. In less than 2 weeks.

I don't know who had the bright idea to have every school in our district do a fundraiser this year (I thought they alternated) but they are complete d-bags. That's right, I said it. Do you know why? Because that third kid who brings home a fundraiser might as well just bring it back to school right now. We've already tapped our potential suckers, I mean buyers, in friends, coworkers and family twice already. This third kid gets screwed out of a potentially okay prize (let's face it, they were probably never going to get the iPad mini from selling 125 items even if they were the only fundraiser in the house) and has to settle for the lame pencil or googly eyed eraser. The prize that says, "Yes, you're not even mediocre in your selling efforts."

Which lovely child of mine earned the poor, pitiful third place in the fundraising wars? My daughter. Yes, the one who's chock full of girly hormones and sensitivity is the one who loses this race. Not the 16 year old who probably has to be reminded 12 times that he has a fundraiser. Or the 6 year old who would be entertained with a googly eyed eraser for hours. It has to be the volcanic mass of estrogen just waiting to explode.

Ultimately, the parents have to be the biggest supporter of their kids. I have no problem with this. Until the third fundraiser comes home. Because what happens is the parents get to buy the same over priced junk that they are making their little angels hawk to others. We get to drop a crap ton of cash on doo dads that we really don't need, magazines we don't have time to read (because that gem was the oldest kid's fundraiser), and candy that costs $9.00 for 7 pieces in a box. I can make candy cheaper than that for cripes sake.

So to all my friends and family who are starting to screen their calls and avoid eye contact when they see me booking in their direction with an order form, I'm sorry. I don't want to harass you as much as you don't want to be harassed. But here's the thing: If I don't get other people to buy this stuff, that means I'm stuck buying it. And we haven't finished paying off the loan we took out for last year's fundraisers.