A Terminal Case of Amnesia

Women have the amazing capacity to forget the aches, pains, and amount of time involved in pregnancy and labor. It's why we don't all have just one child. We convince ourselves that "It was all worth it." Which it totally is. But we also have a tendency to have selective memory loss when it comes to other things as well. Like sleep deprivation.

Yes, newborn babies come with a lot of needs. The most basic one, feeding, happens often with a being so shiny and new. Which means you get up during the middle of the night. A lot of nights in a row. Diaper, swaddle, feed, repeat. By the end of the first week you start doing night feedings on auto pilot. (I'm always thrilled when I find the diaper on correctly the next morning.) After the first 2 weeks, I'm doing everything on autopilot. As long as the kids don't have breast milk in their school lunches and the baby doesn't have the juice boxes, I figure I'm doing alright.

Another thing we forget? A lot of shit. No, seriously, the copious amounts of poop that come from the smallest person in your household. I still cannot get over how many times that baby has a bowel movement. There shouldn't be anything left! And the stench! How those tiny little things come out with a stink so big is inconceivable to me. My theory is that it's to make you appreciate that fresh from the bath baby smell. (Which is like a drug, isn't it? I always wear off the baby bath smell from getting my baby head sniff fix.)

I also forgot how pissed off new babies get when you try to change them. Changing diapers, changing clothes, or even giving him a sponge bath......you'd think I'm murdering the kid with how indignant he is. Now, I get the whole cold and naked thing, but who doesn't like getting clean clothes or fresh "underwear"? Newborns, that's who. Apparently cleanliness is mot next to Godliness in their book. "Just stay away from the snaps on my jumpsuit and no one gets hurt!"

And if you have boys, and you have them circumcised, you forget how awful it is the first few days after that procedure is done. I actually have to stop myself from apologizing to him every time I change his diaper. It doesn't even seem to bother him much now that's it's healing, but I still feel guilty. The one thing I placate myself with is that I wasn't there when they did it, so at least he doesn't associate this betrayal of skin mutilation with his mama!

Or maybe we don't forget but we figure it's a trade off. For every sleepless moment, we get sweet milky baby smiles. For every doody duty we deal with, we get minutes watching them in the deep sleep of the innocent. For every squalling, wet, naked baby that we have, we also enjoy the freshly bathed baby that comes after it.

Then again, maybe all the sleep deprivation starts eating brain cells and we really have forgotten. I'd like to think about this in more depth but sadly, I haven't slept in weeks. Get back to me in a few years when the kid starts school.