When Good Wives Go Bad

We all know that men and women are extremely different creatures. Okay, well, women know this. Guys don't seem to get it. which means I'm often a bad wife. Case in point, the following conversation that I had with my husband tonight:

Husband: What do you want for Valentine's Day?

Me: (thinking: What I really want is for a you to not shop for a gift for me at the 11th hour like you've done for every single birthday, Christmas, anniversary and Mother's Day we've been together, but you're a guy and that's how you shop so I guess I'm never getting that.) What I actually said was: You should know me well enough after all this time to be able to pick out Valentine's Day gift for me.

Husband: What's that supposed to mean?

Me: That we've been together so long that I shouldn't have to tell you what to get me.

Husband: No, I mean, what's that supposed to mean? What am I supposed to know what to get you?
(See, he's still angling to get me to name a specific item!)

Me: I don't know? A card?

Husband: Oh, that's romantic.

Okay, so here's where the man/woman difference starts to come into play. I'm thinking, "We just had a baby. We shouldn't be wasting money on gifts that we don't need since we're adding the expense of another child. Just get me a token card so that you can save face with the Official Men of America Club who would never forgive one of their married members for not getting something for their spouse on Valentine's Day." He's thinking, "It's Valentine's Day. Women like gifts for Valentine's Day. I have to buy her a gift. How much I spend will directly correlate with how much I love her." I'm being practical and boring. He's being romantic and loving.

If that conversation isn't enough to show you men and women come from different planets, how about the one that came right after?

Husband: (holding shirt out) Do me a favor. Smell this.

Me: What? No!

Husband: No, seriously, just smell this.

Me: No!

Now, another guy probably would have taken the smell challenge. Girls don't ask each other to do things like play the "Smell this and tell me if it smells ok enough to wear another day" game. And guys don't understand why their ladies get offended by that. Because they'd smell a shirt if we asked them to. So what's the big deal?

What does success smell like?