Some One Has A Case of PMS

Well it looks like Mother Nature has a raging case of PMS and has decided to take it out on the rest of the world. This isn't any normal fit of menses induced mad either. She is on a major rager. This means the past few weeks have had some messy, cold, and snowy weather. With some ice and freezing rain thrown in. Oh, and negative wind chills.

Now, when you live in the Northeast, you're pretty much used to this. The South, however, is used to being the place where us poor Northern folk go to escape our wintry misery. But even they are getting bitch slapped with Mama N's temper tantrum. The national newscast showed a temperature of 26 somewhere in Florida. Twenty six! They start throwing on cardigans and slipper socks at 55, can you imagine what 26 degrees is doing to them?

Meanwhile, in New York, we get exciting news like, "A high of 5 degrees today but the wind chill will make it feel like it's negative 20 out there." Of course, they always think they're being clever by following it up with some pithy remark like, "So if you're going outside, make sure you dress warmly with these bitterly cold temperatures." Thank you Mr. News Guy! I wouldn't have been able to figure out that my snot is going to freeze to the inside of my nostrils 1.2 seconds out the door or that my car, even though it's only 3 years old, is going to whine and cough like an a 1970 Ford Pinto because even it doesn't want to have to be out in this weather. I know that wearing jeans in this weather is suicide because your legs will be chafed raw from the sub zero denim scraping against winter white legs. I'm a New Yorkah for crying out loud!

Yeah, but even though we're New Yorkers, we're still going to piss and moan like this is the first ever winter we've seen with temps this bad. It doesn't even matter if it's warmer than the previous winter, we're still going to count down to spring and lament how cold it is. And if we can top our family/friend's/co-worker's story, the more gleeful we become. "It was negative 6 at my house this morning. It was so cold that it took me five whole minutes to convince my car just to start." "Yeah, I hear you. It was negative 10 at my house and the dog went outside to pee this morning and it turned into an icicle before he was even finished, poor thing." I guess when you deal with weather conditions like this and being cooped up inside, you have to find some form of entertainment and we amuse ourselves with Tall Tales: Extreme Weather Edition.

These are the exciting maps our weathermen have been showing us.

I'm not sure if maybe we should look into topics like "Sacrificial offerings to make to ticked off weather controlling divas" or "Weather dances to appease and amuse that special Weather Woman in your life." Do we need to find some eye of newt and chant around an ice hole in a lake on a full moon? We should really look into it before someone freezes a nipple off......crap. Too late. Note to self: Check if nipple-ectomy is covered under health insurance plan.