Holy Crap, What Happened To April?

Hoppy Easter! Do you see what I did there? I made a bunny punny! Har-de-har-har! (I can't believe April is bouncing away from me!) For me, Easter is just another Sunday. I guess if you're not overtly spiritual and you don't get a basket full of jelly beans and chocolate anymore, it's just not the same.

Of course, it might have something to do with the fact that I'm a mom of four kids now. One who can't say no. Like when that tired hippity hop bunny calls saying, "Would you like to fill 3 dozen plastic eggs and hide them in your house for your kids? I'm really swamped here. That's a peach, thanks!" and I find myself doing the work of a freakishly large rabbit AND a mom. I'm pulling double duty! I don't remember this being in the handbook. Aren't I just supposed to love, nurture, and scold? Where's the page about filling in for holiday mascots?

Of course, I can't just be the egg filler either. I have to be the quality control person as well. I need to make sure that those jelly beans he gave me to put in those eggs are made with only the finest ingredients, the jelliest of jellies, the beaniest of beans. So I taste one. Ok, that color is good, but what about the others? I might have to check those ones too. Oh, you have two kinds of jelly beans? Well, I can't check the quality of one and completely disregard the other. Ok, I'll check all 6 flavors of those too. At the end of it, I'm five pounds more jiggly with a mega sugar high and the plastic eggs are just a smidge lighter than they would have been if that damn bunny did his own dirty work.

But that's not enough for that lazy hare. "Hey, since you did such a fabulous job with the eggs, would you mind putting their baskets together too? I'll leave everything you need and it's just a quick filling of the baskets." Uh, well, that doesn't sound too time intensive, I guess. This one time would be alright.

That damn rabbit conveniently forgets to tell me he's sending the evil Easter grass that static clings to everything but the basket, or in this case, the Easter bucket. Or that I have to balance half of the crap like it's Jenga since the bucket is narrow and half filled with the damn grass. Oh, and a bucket? Really? Where's the quality work of a hand crafted basket? Kids these days just don't know a good piece of woven craftsmanship when they see it. Tsk tsk.

I thought my Easter plans were pretty simple: Throw a ham in the oven, mash some potatoes, and eat. Heck, I'm great at eating. I can even do it with my eyes closed. But that damn bunny had other plans for me. Next year he's on his own. Or I just might make some wild rabbit soup. It'd be great for Easter dinner.

Now these are Easter baskets!