The Catalog Conundrum

Why is it when you order from a catalog you suddenly hit the catalog jackpot? I ordered from one catalog and within a year I was receiving order booklets from companies that I never knew existed. No, really, one was literally called "Things You Never Knew Existed". Acknowledging one company lets others know you are "that type" of person. You know, someone who orders things through the mail. It's almost like placing a single order puts you in their directory. Like one large telemarketing world of publications.

The problem is, I like looking at catalogs. Especially ones titled "Things I Never Knew Existed". Because now I want to know that they exist. It's a clever marketing tactic, that I can tell you. (FYI, some of those things I did know existed. I was a little disappointed.) Since my favorite form of shopping is online, this is almost as good. I don't have to get dressed so I can shop in my pajamas. I don't have to shower so I can shop at 6:30 in the morning if I wanted to. I can shop while I eat lunch, drink coffee, or brush my hair. Now that I think of it, it might actually be better than online shopping.

A Veritable smorgasbord of precious products!

There's just something about those glossy pages full of awesome, sometimes innovative, products. They're infomercials put to paper. Which is why they're also dangerous. We know about my infomercial susceptibility. (The one that prompted hubby to ban me from watching them anymore.) He didn't place the same restrictions on the magazines that come straight to our mailbox peddling wonderful wares. Like what, you may ask? How about the vegetti? It creates spaghetti like strands from all your favorite vegetables like zucchini, carrots, potatoes, and more! Or ruggies? They keep carpet corners flat to prevent slips and trips! (I'm literally quoting the catalog right now. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.)

If you do a Google search for catalog shopping, it will bring up the most popular offenders. Fingerhut, Lakeside Collection, Harriet Carter. Harriet Carter has a ton of non-useful gadgets that no one probably needs but it's entertainment value surpasses those of functional catalogs. Yeah, sure, Lakeside Collection sells a lot of cool things at decent prices, but Harriet Carter has products that will make you laugh and scratch your head. Those are the funnest catalogs to peruse.

Now, I don't often order these gadget-y gizmos that they try to hawk. I mean, I have some sense of restraint. It would have to be awfully fricken awesome, not to mention a really good deal, for me to break my no-buy streak. I mostly just want to ooh and ahh over them and think of how useful it could be. Usually common sense kicks back in before I buy it and I remember that I don't have the closet storage to keep all this junk. Nor do I have the money to waste on frivolous bric-a-brac.

But my, how those pretty pages shine under the luminescent light of that 60 watt bulb. Sigh.

Add this to a catalog and it amplifies my infomercial radar!