Does My 100th Blog Post Come With A Parade?

Yes people, that's right, this is my 100th blog post. Think of all the exciting things we've shared over the last 99 posts. We've started the apocalypse countdown (T minus 77 days now), mourned the death of Mr. Coffee, and learned that hell's waiting room is a home renovation project. We've been to Zumba class, the big ol' Mall, and even went on vacation together. So for our 100th post, I knew I had to do something special. Unfortunately, I can't seem to think in coherent sentences and that is why today's blog is about: ADDICTION.

Yes folks, that's right. I'm a big, fat, caffeine addict. Not just any caffeine though, coffee. I love the smell of it, I love the taste of it, I love the thought of it. Hell, even the word is sexy with its double f's AND double e's. Right in a row. Don't give me a frappaccino or a cappuccino or any of those frothy, gooey coffee impostors either. I want plain old Maxwell House french roast. (I'm all atwitter just thinking about that big blue canister of java juice.)

The problem is this: coffee is addicting because it has caffeine. I bet that's completely new information. I probably just saved you years of coffee addiction, because knowing that it will make you its slave because it's an addicting substance would totally turn you off from drinking it, right? You're welcome. Anyway, as I was saying, coffee is addicting. So pretty soon my morning coffee isn't enough for me and to take the edge off a very long workday, I'd have a cup after work. Before long, that 1 cup after work just wasn't enough though and I needed a second cup. While that dark nectar was happily thrumming through my bloodstream, I was cooking dinner, cleaning, and doing laundry. By the time I was done with all that, I was thinking, "Hmmm, maybe I could relax with a hot cup of joe."

So you can see how I very quickly can up my coffee intake from 3 cups in the morning to 6 cups a day. SIX. What the hell do I need with all that caffeine? Once the evening cup of coffee started becoming more than occasional, I knew I had to cut that crap out. I was acting like a junkie, waiting for my next fix. "Just give me the coffee and no one gets hurt! Don't make me throw this ladle at you! Because I will. Just carefully slide the coffee over to me and keep your serving spoons where I can see them!"

I successfully, with the help of ibuprofen (Because caffeine withdrawals come with adorable little tantrums called headaches.) managed to cut back to morning coffee and 1 single cup after work. Ok, baby steps, right? I felt like I was severing an appendage so I talked myself into a slow decrease of that afternoon cup. Let's not get crazy and do this cold turkey now. So I still have it, but its sporadically. This means my body is so confused by whether it should expect that cup or not, it doesn't give me a headache when I skip it.

This leads to another problem. Apparently the coffee was the only thing keeping me awake until bedtime. Huh, who knew? So if I start substituting the after work cup of coffee with a power nap, I might be able to stay awake at least through dinner. Aw what the hell, let's just have the cup of coffee.