If You Say You Didn't Know, I'm Calling Bullcrap!

Apparently there was a show on TLC and Discovery Health called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". The show's premise is pretty self  explanatory: Women tell their stories of how they didn't know they were pregnant until they gave birth. Usually in a toilet. (I've heard of a water birth but that's ridiculous!) I've never actually seen the show in it's entirety, because, hey, I've got some standards about what I watch, but I have seen clips. And I call bullshit.

I might believe that a larger girl might not notice any weight gain. Or if she's a larger girl, maybe baby just uses what's available, I don't know. Ok, sure, you might have gotten lucky and been one of those people who sailed through pregnancy without a single ounce of nausea and morning sickness. (I automatically hate you for that as I remember in vivid detail the morning sickness with all three of my children.) And I might be able to swallow that a person who has irregular menses could go an entire 9 months with a wacky period. But there are some pretty universal pregnancy symptoms that can't be ignored.

I gots to pee! When you're pregnant, you're bladder takes it pretty personally. As if, by introducing this alien little being into your body, your bladder feels snubbed. Thus, it requires constant care in the form of emptying itself. This is a frequent thing. You always seem to feel like you've just consumed a Big Gulp. (That was the convenience store equivalent of a kegger of soda.) You make it a point to know where every bathroom is within a five mile radius of your house. And as your pregnancy advances, your bladder gets seriously ticked and makes those bathroom trips about, oh, every five minutes. Do you mean to tell me that you didn't notice you were spending half of your waking moments on the toilet? I think not.

Who needs a push up bra? Your massive mammaries are preparing for providing sustenance for your bundle of joy. They don't even need you to know you're pregnant to do this. As such, they begin to become larger. In a lot of cases, they will also become very sore and tender. By the time you reach your last trimester, your ta-tas could possibly be the star attraction, depending on what you started with. So I'm supposed to believe that you looked like you were going to a Hooters convention and thought that was totally normal? "Wow, I've gone up two cup sizes completely out of the blue! This must be normal."

Is that a basketball? Ok, so maybe you didn't notice that you were gaining weight. Maybe you weren't. But how did you not notice that your stomach felt like a hard rock? A really big kidney stone? Lunch didn't sit well....three months ago? You didn't wonder why your rock hard abs didn't look like you thought they would?

It's a soccer star! Ok, this one really puzzles me. Personally, by the time I was nine months pregnant, I thought for sure that baby was going to kick its way out without needing any medical intervention. There was no denying that there was another person in there. (Not to mention when they got the hiccups!) You cannot tell me that if you do not know you are pregnant, the baby doesn't move or roll or kick. Seriously, how do they explain this one to themselves? "Whoa, I shouldn't have had Mexican for lunch! That burrito is really causing havoc!" In the very least you would think that someone might think something is most definitely wrong and want to know what. Thus, they would go to the doctor and ta-da! You're pregnant!

I feel that shows like this dumb down the television industry. We're setting the bar too low people! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to eat breakfast. (I didn't even know I was hungry!)