Let's Have a Party. No, I Mean Right Now. Immediately.

So I'm thinking that I should have a party and invite everyone I've seen on a social basis for the last few years. The reason? Because I finally weeded the flower beds in front of the house and it actually looks like people who aren't overworked and clueless actually live in my house.

To my credit, the flower bed in front of the house was designed pretty much so that I could not give a crap about it. Well, not much of a crap anyway. I have hosta and day lilies and lily of the valley flowers. They pretty much do their thing, I pluck a few errant weeds and we're good. I usually have a small space by the stoop that I plant some pretty annuals and voila! Summer foliage for dummies.

The problem started when I was given flower seeds and I decided to plant the (FREE) seeds rather than buy (NOT FREE) established flowers. So I'm waiting for these seeds to do....something and all the while the weeds are creeping in one by one. And they notice that I'm not plucking them out by their scrawny, rooty asses because I don't know if it's really a weed, or the seeds I planted are finally coming up. So I'm letting it go thinking that when the flowers bloom I'll definitely know which are the weeds. Um, I SAID.... when the flowers GROW......yeah, not so much. Unless you count the weeds I was growing.

Now, admittedly, the flower garden is already a vague memory once my vegetable garden goes in. It's kind of like finding out you're having another (surprise!) baby in your 40's. Yeah, sure you love them as much as all the other kids. But you're tired and don't have as much attention span so they're the ones who get to watch tv more and eat processed foods full of sugar and gluten. It pretty much takes something major to make me even look closely at the flower area. Like the hosta flower stalks which drive me crazy! I hate stalky, long flowers. I take immense pleasure in pruning those suckers right down. So I notice this week (Ok, you got me, last week.) that the evil hosta has burgeoned forth with the spears of doom and I need to cut them down.  Well, tonight's as good as any other time to do it, right?

It's at that point that I realize my flower beds are  more weeds than actual flowers. Crap. Now I have to weed weed. A lot. With actual tools and gloves and crap. Man, that means a trip all the way back into the garage where I just came from. Sigh.

 And sometime in the past 2 years I have noticed a new weed that's kind of vine-y and spreading and makes me feel like one day I'll wake up in an Alfred Hitchcock movie. ("The Vines") I'll be trapped in my house by this super mutated strand of vining plant that has grown over all the windows and doors, thus sealing me inside my house. By the time I break free, using my superior intellect and many failed attempts with an ax, I torch  a hole through the greenery only to see that my entire neighborhood is covered, including my car. Ok, so I don't know that this weed has this super power, but the amount it seems to be spreading is definitely making me uneasy.

So before nature takes its course and overwhelms my flowers again, I'm going to invite people over. And we're going to eat outside. In the front yard. Next to my beautifully landscaped area. That has a neon arrow pointing out its non-weed like glory.