My Love Hate Relationship With the Mobi Wrap

Have you heard of the Mobi wrap? I wish I had thought of this because it's an ingenious product. I bet the inventor is on an island somewhere, swimming in Gold coins a la Scrooge McDuck, laughing at all the baby bearing parents.

The Mobi wrap, for those of you who live in a cave or just really don't give a crap about baby products, is essentially one long ass piece of fabric that you drape and twist and tie around yourself to produce the perfect swaddle-your-infant baby carrier.

Lady cover your... Oh, never mind, it's a baby head!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is the Mobi. We have a complicated relationship. I love it. Until I hate it. But then I love it again and it's all good. Until it isn't. Confused? If you said "Hell yeah you nut job!", let me explain:

In order to learn how to wear the Mobi you have to do one of two things. 1.) Carefully read the instructions that accompany the product, complete with helpful diagrams. Not good if you have mirror image issues like I do. 2.) Go onto YouTube and watch an instructional video. Yes, that's how complex this thing is. It has instructional videos. (I went with door number one. I should have gone for the videos though because just looking at the picture I added above makes me realize my Mobi never looks like that.) The first time I tried to use it, my husband was there to observe the process which made for lots of gleeful laughter as I looked like a complete rube trying to figure it out. Now I know how stupid I look trying to wrangle myself in it. I hate that.

But now it's on and I have to figure out how to get the baby in it, again via the helpful little pictures. Maybe my baby is irregular because I can never get him in there as nicely as the picture infants. He likes to zig when he's supposed to zag. So now I hate getting the child into the Mobi. 

Now the baby is in the papoose and wow! I have two hands again! Which is great because the baby never wants to be held constantly until I want to do something. If I had zero plans except sitting on my arse watching television all day, he'd be fine in any of the half a dozen doodads that hold, swing, rock or vibrate his ass to sleep. But he heard the washer start and now it's "Wah. I need to be held all day because I'm fussy and won't keep my pacifier in and it'll be this way until Daddy gets home and doesn't understand why Mommy's cranky because she's had the whole day to relax." And isn't baby boy being a perfect damn angel for Daddy just to make Mommy look like an ass? Sorry, I digress. 

So I have two hands to do dishes and laundry and make a cake mix (no fancy scratch cakes with a ticking time bomb of a potentially unhappy baby!) and finish putting groceries away. This rocks. The baby can apparently sleep through the electric mixer but not the dog's nails clicking on the hardwood floors, but other than that, life is great. Until I realize that I need to get something in that cupboard. Up there. And I stretch while holding the baby to make sure I don't dislodge him. Or until I have to bend down. Or open the oven sideways so the heat doesn't hit the baby in his sweetly sleeping face. Or until I'm doing dishes and get the poor kid wet because I can't see how close he is to the sink. Then I hate it again.

But I got some stuff done and now I can take it off because now the baby is hungry (again) and I don't care what that picture in the booklet says I am not trying to breast feed with this contraption on. I also ignore the "How to get your baby out" section because I'm a moron and I've found a system that hasn't injured us yet. I love the Mobi when it's all nice and innocent and sitting on a shelf, waiting to be used. Aw, what a nice Mobi.