A Serious Moment in Mayhemville

I have learned over the years never to judge a teacher based on hearsay. One of my daughter's favorite teachers (and mine as well) was one who was purported to be "very mean and strict" and "no one liked her". Conversely, a teacher who was younger and really nice didn't have the experience and firm structure that my daughter needed.

I am also aware that sometimes personalities clash. Everyone has different personalities and kids are not excluded from this. In many cases, children have bigger personalities than adults. When a teacher and one of my children seem to have a clash of wills they are told, "You may not like your teacher, but they still deserve your respect and cooperation." The older two understand this, but baby boy is just 5. I suspect there is currently some personality discord happening between him and his teacher.

Based on conversations I have had with her both at the parent teacher conference in November and more recently, I'm not convinced that baby boy and his teacher are handling their conflict in the right way. He has some stress which is manifesting in tears and tantrums at home and talking and disruptive behavior at school. In turn, his teacher is being more verbally reprimanding and strict with baby boy. It's at this point that I'd like to say a few words, not only to all teacher, but most especially the ones who work with the youngest students in elementary schools.

Dear teacher,

Every day I entrust one of my most precious gifts into your care. I understand you have many other precious gifts as well and I am not asking for my child to receive favoritism or special treatment. But please consider that, while your tree has had many seasons to grow tall and strong with deep roots, that he has not had as many seasons for his tender, young sapling. Harsh criticism and scolding words may bounce off your tough bark but they can strip those who are not used to weathering storms. While your trunk can stand against strong winds of disapproval, his can bend. His leaves still need the warmth of love and the cool sweet words of praise, his branches still need the tickle of raindrops. He is not a fully developed mighty oak yet, but he is growing every day, even if they are subtle changes.

Please remember that you were once this age and that the world was just as tall to you as it is to him right now. Remember what it was like to have parents, teachers, and family tell you where to go, what to do and how to do it while you were learning your first taste of freedom at school. Now that you are the tall one, realize that your actions now help shape my child's perceptions of how teachers behave and how to resolve classroom conflict. Realize that some children just have a lot of energy and don't be so quick to suggest a medicated world. Remember that every action has a reaction and that children haven't learned impulse control well yet. Be fair. Be kind. Be positive. Smile more. Think happy thoughts (even if it's only how many days there are until summer vacation). Be responsible: You have a part in shaping the future of tomorrow's doctors, lawyers, trash collectors, teachers, mechanics, and scientists. Just as each job has its own importance, so does each child.

You don't have to like my child, but you do have to respect my child and their feelings.

Signed,
A Mom of a high energy, social butterfly, Kindergarten student