There's An App For That

I know that there were cell phones before I got my iPhone. I vaguely remember life before my apptastic adventure began. However, if you tried to take it away from me now, I'd probably be forced to kill you. Not only has this thing helped keep me organized, but it's also quite literally saved my life a few times. If that sounds overly dramatic, you've never been unexpectedly stalled somewhere for longer than you anticipated with a bored 4 year old child who has the attention span of a gnat.

The Apple people, whom I suspect must be clairvoyant somehow, have foreseen this future. Their solution: Apps that will entertain your children so that you don't have to be the asshole parent with the screaming child in the throes of the worst meltdown known to childkind. Now if you could just figure out why it's always so sticky when they're done. No, probably best not to dwell on that. Sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.

BUT.....they didn't stop there. They knew some adults have the attention spans of gnats as well and need constant entertainment in their lives. So they have apps for big kids too. Words with friends, draw something, fruit ninja, angry birds......you never have to impatiently sit in a waiting room ever again. Get in touch with your inner child and kill time waiting for the proctologist all at once! Wow! My iPhone is a proud supporter of multi-tasking!

And they still keep rolling them out. There's something for everyone! Are you mathmatically challenged such as myself? There's a tip calculator app. Just plug in the amount of the bill, the percent tip being left, and how many people are paying and voila! No thinking required. (Unless you're the hubby. He calculates the tip before I can finish getting my phone out.) Who wants to watch a movie on their phone? (No seriously, who does this? Can you say serious eye strain?) Netflix app! Want to figure out who this song is by on the radio? Song ID app! Want to make friends? Um, well, I don't know if there's an app for that but if I had to guess, I'd say So You Finally Want to Move Out of Your Parent's Basement App!

I'm pretty sure by the time Apple rolls out the iPhone 6, it'll wash your dishes, schedule the oil changes for your car, and braid your daughter's hair. Which would be great because I still have to fold the laundry and wash the floors. Unless I can find an app for that.