It's All Fun & Games Until You Eat Internal Organs

As bad as your life can ever be, you can always take solace in the fact that at least you're not a zombie. As you can probably guess, I'm a fan of The Walking Dead. I was a late comer to the zombie apocalypse since I didn't jump on the bandwagon until season 2. (And only then because 3 people had told me I should watch this show. Apparently there's something about me that screams "Zombie Lover".)

It surprised me that I liked this show since it's got two of the criteria on my "Shows To Stay Away From" list. The first being, of course, the gore and blood of the show. I'm probably one of the only people who watch large portions of this show with one eye closed, peeking out behind my hands. Do you know why? Because you wouldn't believe how many different ways there are to kill zombies. Each one more creative than the last. It's as if they are constantly trying to up their own ante. It was bad enough when they started out shooting them, but now they've got shovels, baseball bats, cross bows, hammers, chair legs, you name it. If you can think it, you can stab it into a zombie head. It doesn't help that the special effects artists on this show are geniuses. They get right in there creating creepy, realistic looking guts and brains and blood. So yes, I spend most of the show trying to watch it, but squealing like a girl and turning my head.

The second thing on my list of shows to avoid is anything scary. I'm like a 90 year old lady with a heart condition when I watch scary stuff. My heart's racing, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and I'm feeling like I'm the one who's running into the zombie infested woods. I'm only one scene away from a good old fashioned Victorian fainting session. Now that I think about it, between the fainting and hiding behind my hands, I probably don't watch a lot of the show. I usually rely on conversation to keep me in the know. That plan usually backfires since killing zombies isn't a chatty past time. Apparently you don't have tea and crumpets while stabbing the undead in their frontal lobes.

One really great thing about this show is that they have a show on right after it called The Talking Dead. This is a show dedicated to people, often other famous people, discussing the episode that was just on. What other show has its own promotional show that airs right after it? The Walking Dead, that's who! If you can't talk about the latest show with someone because it's 10 p.m. on a Sunday night, you can watch a show about people who can until you are able to call your Grandma the next day and rehash the episode.

You are not a true fan of the show, however, until you have a zombie plan. Seriously. If you watch this show, there's some sort of subliminal messages being piped into your brain or something, because you start to think of where your zombie free zone would be, what weapons you would need, how you would survive the zombie invasion. They've even started to give tips on what to stock in your zombie survival pack. (Pantyhose! Oh, and food would be good. Maybe some of that water you stocked up on when the world was ending in 2012.) I think if they were smarter, they'd already have some marketing wizard on this and sell their own "Zombie Apocalypse Starter Kits". Think of the revenue possibilities! Instead they're making action figures of the cast members. Yeah, THAT's going to get us far when the zombies take over.

So the next time you're bitching about having to go to that really boring meeting at work, tell yourself that it could be much, much worse. You could be a zombie. Or be chased by one, very hungry zombie horde. Did somebody say entrails? Yum!