The Scary Hairy Situation

Yeah, so I kind of have a terminal case of hair envy. I know, I know, thou shalt not covet yada yada. I just can't seem to help it though. I see a hairstyle that looks perfectly groomed and stylish and it makes me wish I could have hair that did what it was told. Instead I got stuck with this mop I'm carting around. (In public even!) Yikes.

I think I've only ever had like 12 hair days in my entire life where I didn't want to shave my head and just buy some cranium wax. (Really, how perfect would that be? Just give a polish in the morning and I'd be good to go. And think of how much money I'd save on shampoo and hairspray!) The problem is, I get sucked into these articles that tout "8 Trendy Styles of the Stars" or "10 'Dos That Would Work on You" or "5 Cuts That Your Hairdresser Can Make Amazing But That You Will Sadly Never Be Able to Replicate". Last month I got sucked into one such article. I clicked through most of them until I got to this one:

Cute AND flirty hairstyle? Count me in.

I'm thinking, "Oh, what a totally cute style. I wonder if I could pull it off?" This translates into, "I'm going to take a picture of this with my iPhone and ask every person I come into contact with for the next 3 weeks if they think this style would work for me." Which is exactly what I did. And Every. Single. Person. Lied. Kidding. (I think.) Every one said, "Yeah, you could pull that off. It would look cute. You should do it."

 So I did. I found out that my husband didn't know I had a neck. At least I'm guessing that's why he's said, "I can see your neck" three times so far. I also found out that my hair is a 3 year old toddler two hours past nap time. I tried to coax it to curl cutely to frame my face. My hair said, "I don't wanna." I asked again nicely. It said, "You can't make me." (Sadly, it wasn't lying.) I tried to bribe it with exotic shampoos and it said, "I don't like them." So I got exasperated and left it alone. Only to come back an hour later and see that it's flipped the opposite way and is slightly reminiscent of Annette Funicello going to a 50's beach party. Sigh. I try to console myself with the dozen "It's cute" and "I like it!" comments that I got today. Which just made my hair's ego even frizzier.

So, I'm back to my hair envy. Or maybe it's just people that can do something with their hair that I envy. Either way, it's a (wait for it) HAIRY situation. (Hey, I couldn't resist.)