It's Gonna Be Pun-tacular Up In Here

So the oldest boy is a complete drama nut. He's been involved in drama club since fifth grade and grows more and more enamored of the arts every year. Personally I'm thrilled because I would have loved to have done drama myself in school but alas, this nerdling was much too shy. (I know, what happened there, right?)

His school does a yearly production of one musical or another from January through March. Which to the boy is like giving a fun size snickers to a starving person. Especially since the school likes to save the bigger, juicier roles for juniors and seniors and his sophomoric status didn't make the grade. (Har de har har!) He needed more lines! More musical cues! More drama! So he found a group that does a summer production and went to auditions.

I admit that the auditions part freaked me out a little. I mean, the school will always find a place for the students to include them in the new and improved "Life is peachy and everything is fair" world they create for our kids. This was an actual theater group. They had callbacks and everything. (Which basically prolonged my nail biting for two nights instead of one.) Then they posted the roles online. (Like a virtual cork board I guess.) The production they're doing is Shrek: The Musical. The boy was certain that he'd landed a prime role, namely Shrek or donkey. I was proud of his confidence and hoped I didn't have to give the "Maybe next year" speech. (Although I did pull it out and dust it off a little, just in case.)

Outwardly I'm super supportive Mom. I'm handing out smiles and saying things like "Good job!" and "I know you'll get a good part." Mentally I'm praying I'm not jinxing it. Maybe they didn't like his audition? Maybe there was the most fabulous student actors the troupe had ever met and they completely swept them off their theatrical feet and landed all the good roles. How dare they crush my baby's spirit? His enthusiasm is unequaled! His love of acting is unparalleled by any other! (Can you see how he might come by a (teensy bit) of his drama honestly?) And don't you know he DID get the part of donkey. Well I'll be a monkey's uncle. Or at least a donkey's mother.

Are you freaking kidding me??? This is fantastic. I have a plethora of pun-tastic ass jokes. I've got material for weeks! The very first thing I did was post to FaceBook: My oldest son is an ass. No, really! He got the part of donkey in Shrek the musical. It's probably the only time I can be proud of my son making an ass of himself!" And that's just the beginning. (Cue evil genius laugh) This poor kid is going to be haunted by some of the punniest, most terrible humor I can think of for the next two months. It's going to be asinine how quickly I will ASSemble an artillery of ASSorted plays on words and mASSively mangled wisecracks, quips, taunts, and outright buffoonery.  Sadly, he'll probably be the only one who really appreciates it because he's got the same sense of humor I do.

But then again, he's an ass so what does he know?