A Shout Out To All Dads

Today is a very special day. It's National Hollerin' Contest Day. Or Fresh Veggies Day. Or Family Awareness Day. Or Fudge Day, depending which website you click on when you're researching bizarre holidays. (Honestly, I never knew that June 16th was such a busy holiday!) But seriously, this year June 16 is special because it's Father's Day. I'd LIKE to take this time to do a special Father's Day tribute, but apparently I don't have the right equipment to qualify me as knowledgeable on this subject. Luckily, I have my very own live in Dad right here in my house. Hubby has agreed to co-author today's blog:

How To Know You're A Dad......

• You've ever received a tie for Father's Day. (This includes tie cards, construction paper ties, and tie magnets.)
• If you've ever volunteered to help coach your 5 year old's sports team and found out it's a lot like herding cats.
• You've ever had a burping contest with your kid. (Or taught them how to burp the alphabet.)
• If you've opened your mouth and your own father's words have fallen out.
• If you've ever had tired arms from carrying a sleeping toddler because Dads don't always remember the stroller.
• If you have ever given a two year old a bath and left the bathroom looking like a locker room.
• If you'd rather have needles stabbed into your eyes than talk about your daughter's "girl stuff". (This includes but is not limited to girl parts, menstruation, and dating.)
• If you've ever used any variation of the phrase, "Let's not tell Mom about this."
• If your smart phone includes apps to keep your kid busy on long trips (like longer than 4 seconds).
• When your family trip to Florida includes phrases like, "Don't make me stop this car!" and "No, we are NOT there yet but if you ask one more time we will turn this car around and go home!"
• If you've contemplated buying a gun when your daughter turns 13.
• When going to a party requires bringing a diaper bag instead of a 12 pack.
• When you ask your wife how many guys are going to be at a party when you used to want to know how many girls were going to be there.
• If you have any stories that involve the time your wife was gone and you dealt with an explosive poop diaper.
• When your tv plays more SpongeBob than Sports Center.
• If every day you say, "Go ask your mother." at least once.
• If you know any songs by The Wiggles, Barney, or (insert annoying kids show here) and can tell the shows apart.
• If you can have conversations with other parents on which shows that your kids watch that annoy you. (Which let's face it, is pretty much ALL of them, right?)
• If you've ever given a shoulder ride to your kids. (While your wife hovers to catch them.)
• If you've ever received a Look from your wife after she sees the red pants and green shirt you dressed the baby in.
• If your 12 year old daughter wearing lip gloss becomes more horrendous than the apocalypse. 
• If you spend more money on tiny sports equipment than most small countries generate in a year.
• If you've ever had to replace a toilet because your toddler flushed a diaper. (True story. Not a fun one either.)
• If your wife has more pictures of you and your child sleeping in the recliner than she does of you awake. (Again true story. Not sure where the sleep inducing recliner came from but it's like magic.)
• If you can appreciate your own Dad more now that you have kids.

And most importantly, if you can read any of these and nod along because you have/are living through them. Happy Father's Day to all you Dads!