Very, Very Pinteresting

Ok, so I have a confession to make: I'm not good at Pinterest. The thing is, I want to be good at it, but I feel like someone wrote the manual in Mandarin and I only read English. Inevitably, this leads to me saying "Screw it" and moving onto different time sucking activities.

I don't know why I feel like I have to master Pinterest. Do I really need another activity that I can waste time on? I think not. If you've ever seen how much time I can flush down the crapper just by giving me a computer, the internet, and some spare time, you'd agree with me. I get pulled into time vortexes sometimes because surely I did not waste 40 minutes reading articles that caught my eye on msn.com. You'd think I'd change my homepage to something less time consuming. They always have at least 1 article that piques my interest before I even manage to make it to the site I was planning to go to. Now I'm sidetracked and I can't remember what I was going on the internet for in the first place. Eh, might as well read another article while I'm trying to remember. Where was I? Oh yeah, the Pinterest thing.

I have a Pinterest account so I'm not completely unPinteresting. And I think I even have stuff pinned. (I gave myself quite a few pats on the back for managing this feat.) I can even go so far to say that my anal retentive organizational skills kicked in and I have different categories that I've separated my pins into. But that's where it ends. Once I pin them I'm pretty sure they go into a giant black hole because I never look at them again. Should I actually manage to find entrance into the black hole to gaze upon these nifty ideas or recipes, I'll click to expand the pin only to find it doesn't redirect me to what I need to know to make the yummy peanut butter bars or to decorate the lampshades. This just pisses me off. Why show me this delicious dessert if you're not going to give me the recipe? And if you mention this to the wrong people (ie: Pinterest Perfecters) they will roll their eyes at you like you're a brainless 4 year old twit who couldn't find her ass with both hands and say, "You have to CLICK on it." Oh, sorry, why didn't I think of this? I DID click it you idiot, and it's still not giving me the recipe!!

So now my choices are: Act like I'm too busy to have time to do Pinterest or admit that I can't quite figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do with it. It's at this point that I begin to ask myself, "Self, what the hell is the obsession with Pinterest?" But myself doesn't answer so I still don't know why I need more recipes and DIY projects. Because that's what I get hooked into on Pinterest. More recipes for food that I might make once before shelving it with the rest of the one recipe wonders. Or more art deco crap that I'm never going to do for my house because all my damn walls have spackle spots and nothing screams art deco project like a room in mid-renovation. "Oooh look, it's a medicine cabinet re-purposed into a distressed looking antique planter!" Yeah, that's what I need, right next to the crumbling front stoop that we have to replace. The house wouldn't need to be re-sided if I only had a distressed medicine cabinet planter!

As if all of that wasn't enough to make my head swim, then I get emails of "suggestions" from Pinterest. "Oh we see you liked that, well how about this?" Which just starts another cycle of clicking and pinning and time vortexing. Or when my friends pin something, they have to tell me. I'm not a lemming Pinterest! I don't have to jump off that cliff just because Annie did! But much like those craft stores, Pinterest is giving me false ideas about my capabilities and I'm actually starting to believe that I can make my own organic vanilla bean body lotion or some other crap that sounds good to me in my state of Pinterest coma.

Now if I could just find a pin about creating time to do all these projects in.......