Dasherobics? No, no, Prancercise!

If you're like me, you can waste copious amounts of time on Facebook watching videos that your friends post. Ninety nine percent of the time it's cute animals but every once in awhile you hit a gem like this one courtesy of my brother:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-50GjySwew&feature=youtu.be

Oh where to begin? First, I can't seem to stop watching this video. Sort of like not being able to peel your eyes away from a massive train wreck, this glorious damage is priceless. Let me tell you why this video is number one on my list of priceless YouTube gems.

Holy hair batman! The 1980's called, they want their bouffant back. I'm not sure if she's just going to an outdated hairstylist or if this is the way she's worn it for the last 30 years and doesn't realize that aerosol cans kill the ozone layer, but this woman is in desperate need of some updating. She looks like that spinster Aunt that owns 12 cats and talks to Jesus pictures in her living room.

Do they still do that makeover show? What's the deal lady? You found the tightest white pants that you could find (Camel toe, anyone?) and paired it with a professional banker's jacket circa 1992? This was what you thought would be perfect for your Internet debut? Between the hair and the wardrobe, this woman is screaming for an appearance on that TLC show "What Not To Wear". It would have to be a 2 parter due to all the comments that this woman's "before" look would generate. They simply couldn't fit them all in one show.

Is that Pedro behind that bush? Have you ever seen the movie Napoleon Dynamite? If not, it's a dumb movie that has the worst plot line (Actually, it has no plot line that I can find.) and some seriously bad acting/scripting. And yet the characters have some of the funniest lines. If you've ever seen that movie, you'd know that this woman could be an aunt, or maybe even his Mom. From the outdated 'do down to her prancerlistic toes, this woman has the Dynamite family name stamped all over her. Maybe that's why Napoleon's mom wasn't in the movie. She was too busy promoting her Prancercise line.

And don't get me started on the prancing..... So, let me get this straight. If you add the weights, you can prance around town looking like an epileptic spazz and call it exercise? Why can't I just put the weights on and walk? Or even jog? Do I have to look like I've been on a 3 day bender and can't walk a straight line? Am I only going to get the results if I follow her moves exactly? Because I think this is what Lindsay Lohan would look like when she's not currently in rehab. Or maybe Charlie Sheen after his daily dose of tiger blood. Either way, I'm not sure I'd be able to do this in public.

Speaking of public. Is there a reason this has to be done outside? Where people can see me? Why couldn't she demonstrate this in her house? Oh, probably because she'd trip over all the cats. Okay, how about the backyard at least? And how did she manage to find an abandoned park during the day? If I was sure no one would ever see me do this, I might consider leaving the privacy of my own home or yard and trade it for a public venue. Okay, no I would not. I'm not even sure I'd admit in public that I am a "Prancerciser".

Digging the tunes, yo! There's something about that first song that gets stuck in my head for hours at a time. But I have to say, I was really disappointed that she didn't tell me at the end of the video where I, too, could get my own cheesy backup music. I think she could have made a double hit if she marketed her exercise AND the musical accompaniments.

So if you want to trim down those cankles, try prancing around with weights on your legs. If immediate results aren't apparent, get into character with a new hairstyle and keep trying. Oh, and make sure you let me know when and where this is going on. I'd love to see a live Prancercise show.