Thank God There's Another Kardashian!!!

We can all rest easy tonight because the latest addition to the Kardashian family was born Saturday night. Personally, I'm relieved because that means I won't have to see any more creepy pictures like this one:

This print is called "Rose Bush Camouflage"

Before I go any further, can we discuss this picture for a minute? What was Kim thinking when she picked this outfit? Or is it really an outfit? Because it sort of looks like she couldn't find anything in her closet that fit and she took the sofa cover and whipped up something red carpet worthy. Which it isn't. But it's definitely covering her entire body. Maybe some last trimester body issues there? I have to say, I'm not sure that covering yourself in floral couch cushions is all that slimming.

And let's not leave out Kanye. I'm not sure what the expression on his face is supposed to be, but it looks slightly like Elmer Fudd meets terrified expectant parent. Or maybe he's just horrified that his baby mama is wearing the tablecloth his mother gave them as a "Shacking up but living in sin" present. If this is the best picture they could give the media before becoming celebrity parents, then I can't wait to see what they look like a month into sleepless nights and baby spit up.

Okay, so back to the newest addition. It's a girl! Great! Because we really needed more estrogen with the Kardashian chromosomes. As if that wasn't bad enough, apparently Kim and Kanye have decided that there is a distinct lack of K names and that their new progeny will have a "kute" K name too. In fact, the latest buzz is that Kim is "Close to choosing a baby name". Close? Seriously? This wasn't something that you talked about while you were cooking that bun in your oven? It's just now come up? I don't think I've ever heard of "regular" people having this much trouble trying to name their kid. Usually you and your partner have at least thrown the gauntlet down on what names you hate and narrowed the field down to a few potentials. Generally you don't call your child "that kid" or "fruit of my loins" for 3 days while you scour multiple baby name books for that perfect potentially-a-reality-tv-star name.

Honestly? They probably did it for ideas. (If they did, that makes them geniuses. Oh, right, so it was probably unplanned then.) Speculation is running rampant and because there isn't anything more important in the world right now, we have nothing better to do than to name Kimye's bundle of joy. Suggestions such as Kara, Kaidence, and Kai have cropped up. Everyone's on pins and needles about what the tiny tyke's moniker will be! (Well, everyone except me. I heard there might be a real problem in the world so I tuned out of the Krazy drama for a minute.)

Personally, I think they should name the baby Kash Kow since they're gonna capitalize the shit out of this kid. But then again, I might be a little cynical. Well, that and Kash was what they picked out for a boy's name.

Update: They've settled on a name. North. As in North West. Let that seep in for a minute. Yes, they really are that dumb and yes, this kid better hope the money never runs out and that momma and daddy can continue to afford the private school where North is probably normal amongst other star tots with names like Blue and Apple. Because I'm pretty sure if this kid ever went to a public school, she'd probably get beat up for her parent's stupidity. The best part is, they're calling her Nori (which is some sort of edible seaweed?). Why the hell didn't you just name her Nori then? I don't understand why celebrities feel that being famous and having truckloads of money means they have to name their kid some dumb ass name. Maybe it's in their contracts? Regardless, with a name like North West, I'm sure this kid won't be the (big) butt of any jokes. Good job Kimye, your parenting is already off to a fantastic start!