Don't Make Me Put You on THE LIST

I'm starting a list. This list is going to comprise of all the people who are in desperate need of a punch in the forehead. With brass knuckles. Hmm. Now that I think about it, that sounds like the very definition of a s**t list. Well, henceforth my list shall only be known as "THE LIST". It will be our little secret.

Vying for the top spot on this list is technology and my local internet provider. (Names have been omitted to protect the clueless idiots that give me my internet service.) I don't have a lot of patience. I have three kids so all the patience I DO have, they pretty much get it. That means you should probably be wary of a "stink eye of death" should you tick me off. So today, I'm trying to enjoy some mindless internet time wasting trying to figure out Pintrest. (For those of you who are pros at Pintrest, substitute "trying to figure out" with "brilliantly pinning exciting intellectually stimulating art deco pictures on my pinning thingy".) And every time I click on something I'm getting the blue spinning circle of hell. That's where the browser is THINKING about processing the page change. It's not quite sure it wants to redirect me so much as it wants to give me a gleeful message that the shock wave app has crashed, complete with the sad little "Oh no, how could this have happened?" smirk.

Now to be fair, the wireless router we have is not new. Since technology upgrades every 27 and a half minutes, this thing is probably the great-great-great-great grandfather of all the newer, hipper, faster routers. But I'm using the "home" station. Ground zero. Main computer. Why do I have to wait 3 minutes for a page to load? So now I'm ticked off that I have to get a new router because OF COURSE we've been keeping up with the Joneses and getting iPhones and laptops and all sorts of other crap that uses wi-fi. But that little devil on my shoulder is sitting there saying, "Why put all the blame on your router? Surely your internet provider could have faster service." Sure, for a fee. I could probably have the fastest internet service in the world if I gave up my first born. But we're keeping him. We've gotten fond of him. Plus he's the one who's closest to moving out of the house.