The Unbelievably, Horribly Bad Day

Have you ever had one of those unbelievably crappy, bad days? The kind that you know you're going to have to apologize to someone for? Yesterday I had one of those days. To make matters worse, it was the second crappy day IN A ROW. (The laws of the universe should not allow that!) Usually you can shrug off a bad day with an "Oh well, shit happens. Maybe tomorrow will be better." But I think I just hit that limit and said, "That's it. I quit this day. Thank you for calling. Try again tomorrow."

Now, had this happened a week later, I could blame it on that beautiful female scapegoat: PMS. But right now, I've got nothing. The most I can do is, "Sorry for my personality. I suck as a human being." (I should check Hallmark, they might actually make a card for that. It's in the "You suck as a person and need to apologize but it's still not good enough because, hello, you still suck as a person" section.)

Sometimes when you have these days, you just know that it's coming. It might start off with something small. Like you get out of the shower and come out to get a cup of coffee only to realize that you forgot to set the delay timer last night so there is no coffee. So you turn it on and stand there glaring at your coffee maker, as if by that very act it's going to be intimidated and brew faster. Now one random act of crappiness does not make a bad day and you can shrug it off, even though you are now running 10 minutes behind. But then you spill coffee on your light colored shirt and have to change it. Now you're starting to wonder if karma has sent out a hit man on you today. It could quite possibly be that by saying, "Oh great, this day is going to suck" out loud, you're calling all that bad, klutzy karma to your side and willing your day to go down the shitter. Or it could just be the universe's form of entertainment at your expense.

The WORST bad days are the ones you didn't see coming. You got up 10 minutes early, you somehow shaved 5 minutes off your morning grooming routine, the coffee was hot and ready, and you found $10 in your coat pocket that you didn't know was there. You're coming up roses, baby! Then you hit a traffic jam, spill coffee on your car seat (Which is a light gray so it shows up great!), get to work 10 minutes late, and realize you forgot your lunch. Bam! Instant bad day. And now you're even MORE ticked off because it started out so well. You just can't understand how things went wrong so quickly.

And it's always our families that seem to get the worst of it. Now we're in a bad mood, running late, and snapping at Johnny because he's putting his shoes on as slowly as possible, causing you to be even later and you snap, "Oh for cripes sake Johnny, just put the shoes on already. Let's go, go, go! NOW." So now your poor kid is probably going to have a bad day because his evil mom just heaped bad karma on HIS head. My poor husband is the one that usually gets the brunt of it, mostly because he's a "big boy" (or because he irritated me in the middle of my "leave me alone I'm having a bad day" fit) and then HE gets instant bad mood. See, it's like a virus. It just keeps spreading and contaminating anyone it comes into contact with.

So now I have to make my "amends" list. (I feel like I'm a recovering alcoholic in a 12 step program.) But first I have to run to the card shop. I need to see if they have any "Honey I'm sorry I was a mean jerk to you but I still love you and by the way can you fix the bathroom faucet, it's leaking" cards.