Livin' La Vida Lotto

Does anyone else have the Lotto Life Fantasy? You know, the one where you meticulously plan all the things you would buy if you won the lottery. A bigger house. A new car. An au pair. Lately my Lotto Life Fantasy involves a cook. (I wouldn't knock having a maid either. Let's face it, no one jumps out of bed saying, "Oh goody, I get to clean my toilet today!")

Dinner seems to be my arch nemesis lately. If I were a comic book heroine, (I'd be Super Mom! Able to detangle hair with a single comb. Bake cookies and help with homework simultaneously. Leap piles of laundry in a single bound!) the big evil villain in my story would be Dr. Dinner. Sadly, I would not vanquish this evil foe but rather be downtrodden and defeated by his constant presence. Ever reminded that he might be gone for now, but he WILL be back tomorrow. And not only will he be back, but he will bring mealtime tedium and picky eaters and lack of creative ideas to the table. (Get it? Table? Yes, it was a bad pun. Get over it.)

If it were just me and my husband, I'd be quite content to subsist on cereal, hot pockets, and Marie Callendar's pot pies for weeks at a time. However, my husband's lack of attention span to anything not sports related (Love you honey!) means that he can handle two, possibly three times of eating the same meal within a short time span before he begins to require more creative food outlets. Unless I made him tacos or Kraft mac and cheese. But that would require cooking and defeat the purpose of my anti-cook-unless-by-cooking-you-mean-microwaving stand.

However, there are these kids. And now I have to think of fun ways to get them to eat their vegetables AND provide a balanced meal. And it's constant. These kids think they need to eat THREE TIMES A DAY. Breakfast and lunch are easy. Slap together some cereal or a sandwich. But dinner? Turns me into a cave woman.  Big family eat time around round wood thing in house. Most parents have similar situations too. Bobby won't eat turkey, Jane won't eat celery, and Sam will only eat foods that start with the letter L. So you either end up making the same meals all the time because, hey, everyone eats them and there are no arguments. Or you make a meal for 4 out of 5 and that last one gets peanut butter and jelly. (If you have a picky eater like I do, that last scenario happens A LOT.) And if you DO have a picky eater, then you get to decide if you want to be the jerk mom forcing their kid to try new foods and then turning dinner into a battle of the wills between you and your 5 year old, or running the risk of someday having a 27 year old who only eats macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, and lasagna.

So I stick with the tried and true and 7 years later, after cooking the same 15 meals, I go a little crazy and try a "new" recipe. Only to have my kids (and sometimes my husband) look at me like I've sprouted a second head with a look that clearly says, "If you think I'm eating THAT, you have another thing coming." So yes, my Lotto Life Fantasy involves a cook. And during that time I would have spent cooking, I'll whine about having to eat my vegetables and tell her I only eat foods that start with the letter S.