There's a Critical Eye Looking at My House

Since we're in the process of fixing up the house to put it on the market, I've had a much more critical eye when looking at things. Have you ever done this? I mean, REALLY looked at your house and seen what needs to be fixed, cleaned, or tidied? (I really don't advise it unless you have a strong heart!) My God, we are are supreme pigs! I can't believe we've lived in this disgusting sty of a house this many years. I feel like I've brought down the reputation of domestic goddesses everywhere. Lest you think I'm exaggerating, let me tell you what I found:

The top of my refrigerator has an inch of dust. It looks like it hasn't been cleaned since we moved in. Which isn't true. I think it's caught my eye once at least twice before (when we painted the kitchen and it had to be moved). It doesn't help that it's white. (My next appliances will be black so I can fool myself into thinking I'm a better housekeeper.) Sadly, the dust has overtaken my house every where. It's gotten so that I have "dust blinders". It's there, but I'm immune to seeing it. Until we're having company and I'm doing the flight of the bumblebee manic run around my house, wiping and picking things up.

Cobwebs! Now, because they start from ceilings and corners, it can take me months to notice these. Usually only when one hangs down long enough to smack me in the face and I look up. It only takes me noticing one to make me a cobweb crazed creature, racing from room to room with the swiffer mop. Why the swiffer mop? Those dry pads suck those cobwebs to it like a magnet. (Well, that and it's long enough for me to reach the corners and ceilings.) I don't even know where these come from. I should ask one of the kids. They'll probably tell me it's the Cobweb Fairy.

Dirt, dirt, dirt. I don't know if white was the trend when they made this house or if it was an upgrade at some point, but everything in this house is white. White doors, white appliances, white trim. (Ok, we've put in white trim ourselves. We like it. But I was making a list for your consideration here.) Hello!? We have 3 kids and a dog. NOTHING stays white for longer than 3 minutes. And it seems like my kids don't wash their hands for a week, wait until they're good and grimy, and touch all the doors and wall casings. That's the only thing I can think of to explain the gray, grimy grossness. I need to buy a bottle of Clorox. Or ten.

Dog hair. Now I know I can't escape this since the hubby won't let me put the dog in a Shadow (that's his name) sized hamster ball. Besides, with my luck, the idiot dog would eat the hair that collects in the ball and then hack it back up. He's a good dog, but not always the brightest. And since he's a BLACK lab, his dog hair shows up really well on the laminate wood floors. Lucky us. We sweep and mop and 38 seconds later we have dog hair forming in corners again. I'm convinced that it's planning a coup and hasn't yet been successful because we thwart the attempts when we sweep and destroy their army.

So, if you ever feel like you're on top of the world and need something to bring you down to Earth again, take a good look at your house. It's enough to make me want to hire someone to power wash my house. The inside. With an industrial strength machine. Twice.