A Quick Trip to the Store

Have you ever mentioned that you have to run to the store and your spouse has offered to go for you? After a quick internal debate, you politely decline. The internal debate probably goes something like: If I send him for laundry detergent he might not get the kind I like. So then I'll either have to take it back and get the one I wanted or suck it up and use detergent I don't like for a month.

Now my husband, thoughtful guy that he is, will often offer to run to the store for me. (Especially if I'm already in pajama pants. My husband has reconciled himself to my pajama pants love affair.) There are times I will take him up on his offer. But I've learned, after all these years, that there are only certain things I am comfortable with him getting. Milk, toilet paper, the newspaper. Other things I'm really picky about. I only want the orange kind of Palmolive. I know that it's probably the same thing as the green kind, but I like the smell of it. With as often as I wash dishes, I think I'm entitled to a pleasant smelling dish liquid. This is something that guys don't think about. They see Dawn dish detergent and think, "That one looks good." The same goes for laundry detergent. I understand that Tide is expensive. But I've found that 3 kids can get stains on clothing like nobody's business (What does that even mean anyway?) and Tide works great. But there are a dozen different kinds now, not to mention special detergent for high efficiency machines. There's just something about that mountain scented Tide that grosses me out. I just want the plain (original) Tide for non-high efficiency machines. (Because we like our dinosaur washer. Or because a new one isn't in the budget. Either way.)

By the same token, men don't count generic brands as actual products. They see a name they recognize, that's the one they're getting. Even if it is $2.00 more. Now because I like my high end detergent, I tend to cut corners on things that aren't as important. Like generic paper towels. I don't care who makes them, I just like them as cheap as possible because there's a creature in my house that eats them like candy. (He's a cousin to the toilet paper troll I think.) My husband will see the name Bounty and know that's a paper towel. End of story. I once sent him for quick oats so I could make no bake cookies. I usually buy store brand because they're cheaper and this is my most requested pot luck dish. (And I go through quick oats like nobody's business! Still not seeing it. Might have to Google this phraseology later.) He brought home the Quaker oats brand. Because the creepy old guy on the box is familiar! See, that's how men's brains are wired.

Now, if you put those two issues together, you'll see why I never send my husband to do the grocery shopping. It would cost him twice as much and I'd have a house full of name brands, most of which would be the "wrong kind". And I can't yell at him for trying because that would be like kicking a puppy for fetching a newspaper. It's just mean. But on the other hand, I don't want to spend 10 minutes explaining how to recognize the brand I want. And since I really don't have a specific formula for which things are special enough to be bought as name brands and which ones are generic, he'd just be confused. Plus, I'd probably have a coupon for it and even if he brought it, he'd probably forget to use it and then we'd get into an argument about how he could have saved 75 cents on it! (Married couples can fight about some stupid crap, let me tell you.)

Basically, what I'm trying to tell you, is that my house usually has quite a few "quick trips to the store" every week. And unless it's toilet paper, milk, or the newspaper, I better put a bra back on because I'm going into public again. Sigh.