Beefing Up America in 60 Second Intervals

So I've resigned myself to my 40 minutes of nightly exercise torture on my stationary bike. It's almost a game lately because I like to get it done as early as I can, freeing the rest of my night up AND inflating my sense of accomplishment. So now I'm cramming blogging, dinner, dishes, and exercise into the three and a half hours between getting home from work and my little guy's bedtime, which coincides with my shows coming on. (This makes me feel like a little old lady. Remember they used to watch their soap operas and they called them "My Stories"?)

Sometimes, I have so much going on that I get my little guy into bed and THEN exercise. This happened a few times last week. So here I am, quarter after 8 at night, huffing and puffing and pedaling away. I'm watching my shows at the same time so I don't have to think so much about how much I hate exercising. (#*!*%@* evil exercising  Good for your heart my ass! I'm dying over here.) And an ad for Red Lobster comes on. What the hell? It's after 8 at night and now I'm snackish. I'm STILL exercising, not even done pedaling away my half a pound that I'll manage to scrape off one of my thighs, and now I want to add 5 pounds worth of delicious, greasy, fried shrimp. Luckily, it's a stationary bike, so I'm not getting anything other than aches in muscles that are protesting my anti-atrophy movement.

Ten minutes later, it happens AGAIN. Only this time it's a Taco Bell commercial. Still I'm thinking, "What the hell? Do they expect us to get in our cars and drive to Taco Bell at 8:30 at night?" Well, maybe. But more than likely, it's the only time that they reach the majority of people for their advertising purposes. This backfires on Americans though because it's now 9:30 at night and you wish you had a burrito and can't figure out why you want one so badly (not realizing your subconscious has taken in those 4 commercials for Taco Bell). So you go to the kitchen, and since you don't have a burrito, grab another snack. It's never anything good for you either. It's not rice cakes or carrot sticks or a salad. It's ice cream, chips, or cookies. It's like that devil on your shoulder duct taped the angel's mouth shut so you can't hear the good snack suggestions. Meanwhile that devil is whispering, "Put chocolate syrup on your ice cream. Oh and whipped cream! No, no cherries, that's a fruit, it's good for you. How about sprinkles instead?"

See? And they call America an obese nation. Sure we are. All we see are car ads and food commercials from 8-11. So, we get in our car and drive to a fast food restaurant. Then we come home, eat our bad food, brush our teeth, and go to bed. Ta da! Building fat asses one ad at a time. And while they irritate me normally, add a diet and exercise regime (So I can be a "healthier me". Ugh.) and now I'm furious. Do you realize how many food ads they have out there in these "prime time" hours? There's Red Robin, Red Lobster, Burger King, McDonalds, Wendy's, Outback Steakhouse......the list goes on and on. I'm trying to watch The Biggest Loser and fuel myself on to being a big loser myself, (Oh, wait, that didn't sound as good out loud as it did in my head.) but instead I am inundated with burgers and steak and fried seafood ads.

So basically, American wants to be that two faced high school cheerleader. To your face, she laments how sad it is that Americans are overweight and how it's a growing epidemic and blah blah our poor fat kids and  boo hoo hoo. But as soon as you walk away she'll be whispering sweet nothings about cheeseburgers and milkshakes to your subconscious and telling you all the bad things your diet said about you behind your back.