The Giggling Gaggle of (Middle Aged) Girls

So, I have a girls night out tonight. This trend has become more popular in recent years as a method for women to have someone to vent to so that they don't end up stabbing their spouses, co-workers, or mother-in-laws. The venue varies but invariably it will involve food, possibly wine, and always laughing.

My husband is tickled pink that I'm having a girls night out. Since I tend to be anti-social and he can't meet enough people, he never understands my "I've reached my quota of being nice to people in a social setting, it's time to go home NOW" attitude. I think he's secretly relieved that I'm occasionally "normal" and that he won't end up as a story on that Lifetime show Snapped. (This is a show where woman have gone psycho and killed their boyfriends, husbands....anyone with a penis basically qualifies for their rage.) Even knowing that he has to feed all 3 kids dinner is not daunting enough to sway him from his happiness that his wife is not a house hiding hobbit.

Since I'm bringing the dessert (carrot cake), my house had the lovely smell of cinnamon and nutmeg and was basically taunting me. "You know you want to eat a bad snack that would totally offend your diet's sensibilities". As I was hovering around the oven, ready to pounce on the cake and stab it to death with toothpicks (not for taunting me, but to check if it was done. I'll get my licks in for teasing my damn diet when I "accidentally" stab it when I'm frosting it.) and debating the merits of payback, the phone rings.  My parents invited us to dinner Saturday night. For months I can exist in a social drought, with barely an invitation here or an outing there and now I'm being social TWICE IN ONE WEEKEND? Do I get bonus points for being pleasant to friends AND family in a 24 hour period? I might have to ration it so I don't spend too much pleasantry at one place, thereby short changing the other.

Yes, yes, I know. I sound like a miser. A grinchy loner who sits alone in a dark room muttering to herself. But it's not that I don't like people, it's, well, yeah, that I don't like people. But not all people, just most of them. So you have to understand how big of a deal it is for me to come out of my cave. (It's dark in here but I have plenty of books!) With so much to do and since my request to add 4 extra hours to each day was denied, I usually get to the important things first and the not so important ones last. Because I almost qualify as a hermit (I'm just missing the beard and the suspenders), I always forget about social interaction. It kind of slips off the list.

And I don't know why I'm such a loner either. It's mystifying because my kids, my husband, hell even my dog LOVE people. I'm more "Meh, take 'em or leave 'em." I'm convinced that I might be missing a specific chromosome that deals with party enjoyment. (I think it's chromosome number 21)

So I just want you to know: I'll be keeping score. The more points I earn by being a great guest THIS time might save me when I lose points for telling someone that her hat is hideous the next time.